The ability to handle stress in life differs from person to person. We all have specific and personal reactions to pain, tragedy, bad news, stress, barriers, etc... So no two people will have the exact same point of view. Even interpreting a simple sentence can greatly vary from person to person depending on the context of the statement, education and upbringing, and can even be interpreted in one way and then seen in a completely opposite light the next day simply due to the mood of the reader.
Each individual person, therefore, experiences pain and illness differently. Our coping mechanisms might be similar, but may also be completely contradictory to the coping mechanisms of others.
There is a bit of a stigma that is attached toward patients diagnosed or labeled with "Chronic Pain" that insinuates a generally angry disposition. Anger is an understandable, justified, and fairly common response, but it is also not universally long-term. While the reasons for feeling angry, frustrated, beaten, even unfairly targeted, in dealing with chronic illness is MORE than justified, but it is also important to encourage a shift in outlook whenever possible.
There are several reasons (in my opinion), beyond strictly being ill, that can fuel this anger. I have previously spoken about grief regarding chronic illness. This type grief is very normally experienced by just about everyone while aging. Each person grieves the loss of fragments of their identity, including changes in physical appearance, deterioration of joints and muscles, changing body responses to food and activity, decreases in memory or learning capabilities - essentially, we grieve the loss of portions of ourselves.
Another plausible reason for this anger stems from expecting or hoping to get better. I am not saying that this is a bad thing. Hope is ALWAYS recommended. The sentiments I am referring to are these kinds of constant thoughts:
'I will do that when I get better...'
'I can't do that right now, but once I feel better I will...'
'I want my life back...'
It is not necessarily the idea of making goals, but rather always putting off living because of a sometimes unrealistic expectation that things will improve.
When you have a cold or flu, something acute that always goes away, this does not become an issue. However, once you are dealing with a chronic illness, this notion can drag you into a downward spiral of chronic frustration.
Each time that you put a goal off to the side until you 'get better', the pile becomes more and more unmanageable, and can completely take over your mindset. You may start to crumble under the pressure of what feel like failures - and from no fault of your own.
The bottom line is that if you are continuing to wait to LIVE until you 'feel better', you may not ever get the opportunity.
Let's also be very frank here, you can never completely 'have your life back'. Recreating the past in its exact form is impossible, and making that a primary goal is unrealistic and the result is inevitable.
There are, of course, endless resources at your disposal in an effort to work on improving overall pain and uncomfortable symptoms, and many DO go into symptom-free remission, but what if you don't?
What if you never feel better?
While that seems like a drastic and even pessimistic question, it is a reality. Continuing to put things off until the majority of your symptoms improve brings that frustration straight to the surface. Then, the longer it takes to achieve that expected goal of getting better, the more life that you miss out on and the more intense that frustration feels.
Chronic patients are not only guessing at the causes, treatments, and cures, but we are also grieving the loss of our previous selves, AND we are juggling the continuously changing circumstances, goals, and limitations.
The anger that can be seen and felt from those who suffer from chronic illnesses stems from various sources. The loss of control over one's own body, the loss of self, being unable to fully understand one's own illness, the constant hope and expectation to get better, being DENIED to participate in life by your own body, these can all contribute to this deep-rooted anger. It is not always the symptoms themselves or even the common issue of the public not understanding your plight that are the most frustrating... It may have more to do with having your expectations shattered and having the door slammed in your face over and over again - just from trying to move forward.
Everyone needs the opportunities and moments to feel angry and upset over their own struggles, but there ARE ways to redirect that energy and hopefully avoid becoming chronically angry.