"You look so much better!!"

In a previous post I mentioned how awful it is to make a chronically ill person feel as if he/she needs to prove how sick he/she is. I want to add on to that today.
Another part of projected guilt comes from appearance.
Appearance is a huge issue with chronic illness, hence the numerous discussions regarding Invisible Diseases and other such terms.

When a chronically ill person hears "you look so much better" or "you look beautiful" or "you look so healthy" it is another confusing sentiment.

I would guess that 90% of people who say these things are simply and kindly expressing that they feel that their friend looks amazing. It is, nearly always, a genuine compliment, with no ulterior motive or intent.
But then there is that 10%. That small fraction of people who tell you how amazing you look and then turn around to tell their friends how you can't possibly be that sick if you look that good! Or they take photos with you or OF you in such a situation to point out the hypocrisy of your statements. For instance, I am often in bed the majority of each day. I CAN, however, go for a walk now and then, or go for dinner, or go watch some live music, or even sing sometimes. For those occasions I work hard to present a healthy appearance. I spend time on my appearance so that no random person can tell that I am ill. What no one sees is the build up to that 'event', the recuperation from that event, nor the activities I have purposed not done for the past week just to prevent myself from becoming too ill to participate. (Like if I am singing on a Wednesday evening, I will spend all of my time in bed preparing, I will not do yoga or go for a walk or be active in any way at least three days beforehand, just so that I don't accidentally push too hard and cause myself to have to cancel).

My point is, that 10% of people, who are just wanting to catch you in what they feel is a lie, make it so that when we do receive a compliment about our appearance, we have a slight twinge of distrust. We all-of-a-sudden feel the need to explain that yes while we might look nice we still feel like shit. And then we sound like we are complaining... but really it is a protective behaviour. A defensive behaviour. And I wish that those doubts and those defenses never had to be up.