There are many different things that I love to do, try to do, and want to do in a modified way.
Part of what I love about my relationship with RJ is that we both often do little things. It is always unexpected and simple, rarely expensive, and thoughtful in a way that is simple.
He was recently away for work and I wanted to do something for him when he got back - because I missed him! And he wanted to do something for me - because he missed me! So he brought home a caramel apple (something I buy every time I go on any kind of road trip), and I decided to try baking cheesecake.
I had one of those pre-mixed packages that I just had to add the cream cheese, yogurt, and eggs into, then make the pie crust. I have never made cheesecake before, so I figured that a package was the best way to start off.
It is something so simple! Yet meaningful!
I didn't have a spring-form pan, and my cake pans are too shallow, so I opted for individual mini cheesecakes. Of course they are not perfect, and they are not decorated (I just threw on a few sugar pearls on each one for a tiny little bit of flare), but they worked! Above all, he thought they were delicious, and that's all that counts!!
Although I cannot whisk him away on a dream vacation, or surprise him with a brand new truck, or even take him on a random adventure because of my health, I CAN do the little things, like make desserts or his favourite meal, have the house tidied up and laundry finished, or just write him a nice note letting him know how much I appreciate him.
There are many parts of a relationship that are strongly affected by illness. Every decision we make has to take into account my health and various limitations. We always have to have a backup plan if we meet up with friends, I have to carry around several pieces of medical information with me everywhere we go, if we go on road trips we have to ensure that there is a hospital nearby and I often have to take my refrigerated medications along with me -> everything is a big production. When we eventually need new vehicles, we have to take into account my inability to get in and out of really low seats, with getting this home we had to be careful with how many stairs would be included in every day living. It doesn't sound like much, but it does pervade every decision we make, including date nights, food, furniture, closeness, whether or not there is an elevator in the places we go to meet people, even how to organize the house.
The small stuff - the little things that take our minds off of all of the medical nuances of our lives - wind up being the most important parts of our day, and our relationship.
The little things really are the big things. And making mini cheesecakes feels like a big accomplishment that I am proud of.
Simple.
Maybe even boring.
Still good!
#TheLighterSideofMedicine
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