A Long-Pondered Question

I was recently asked what my thoughts were regarding dating people who are chronically ill (sometimes severely).

Q. What would you think about dating someone who had similar health problems as you do?

A. I am absolutely not against it. When I was single, I did go on several dates with people who were very ill. I pondered this question over and over.
The illnesses themselves, apart from the devastation of watching a partner suffer, was not frightening in particular. What I found to be bringing up hesitation was the idea that we would have difficulty taking care of one another. If both people have severe chronic illnesses with episodes of flare-ups that render the person bedridden, and both experience flare-ups at similar times, that can be a difficult equation. There would have to be some sort of agreement of investing in home health care so that nurses come in weekly or daily or monthly - whatever is necessary - so that both partners receive the necessary care without putting the other's health in jeopardy. The only other concern would be communication. If the communication is poor, both partners being ill could lead to a competitive resentment -> one assuming their pain is worse than the other's, comparing, one-up-ing, and breeding resentment. What is the phrase people use - Pain Olympics? Who suffers the most? Who has it worse? Who deserves the most attention? That kind of relationship would be problematic in various areas.

With that said, the bottom line is not what, but who.
The person who is 'right for you', the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, your person, with whom you share everything, is what makes the difference between being able to handle it and crumbling underneath it.
Those in my past that dated me and could not handle the illness aspect couldn't handle it because I was not the love of their life.
It is staggering how different things can seem with the love of your life.
With any previous exes, it is possible that if they suffered from severe chronic illness I may have been scared away. But if Rj (God forbid) ever suffered from exactly that same illness, we would figure things out, no questions asked.
It is absolutely a matter of who you would go to the ends of earth for...

My personal viewpoint is that as long as I go into something with openness and honesty, communicate about the illness and what to expect, then it will turn out how it is supposed to turn out. I like to go into things eyes wide open if at all possible.
Circumstances are different for every person.
My advice is not to write anyone off just because of illness or baggage until you have had a conversation or you spend some time together. It might surprise you what you can and cannot handle depending on the situation.