I used to be absolutely terrified of needles.
When I was young, if we even drove past the place where I received vaccinations as a child, I would quiver.
I read recently about someone who is so frightened of needles that they would never even consider being a blood donor because of that fact.
I completely understand where that line of thinking comes from.
It's as though our fears of something can protect us from them. That if we are that terribly frightened by a specific thing, we may never have to experience it.
Unfortunately, our fears don't necessarily protect us.
Just because I have an irrational fear of bees doesn't mean that I will never be stung. An irrational fear of heights can only help you avoid being in high places for so long.
I was petrified of needles.
That didn't save me from requiring them.
It isn't so much that I got over my fear of needles, but more that I got over the idea of cowering from them or avoiding them. At age 14 I went from whimpering if I had to go get a vaccination every few years to getting bloodwork done twice a week.
Twice a week.
Now I get about 7 vials of bloodwork taken once a month (when I remember), I do two sub-cutaneous injections a week for Hereditary Angioedema, one sub-cutaneous injection once a week for Crohn's Disease, with fluctuating intra-muscular and sub-cutaneous injections for other ailments (like Lupron injections for birth control for 5 years or Biologics once a month for Ankylosing Spondylitis). Then there are the Cortisone injections into the SI Joints for Ankylosing Spondylitis - a super long needle going directly in the SI Joint. And all of those examples don't even include emergency room visits, scopes and imaging and other diagnostic tools, IV fluids, or the like.
The fear isn't gone... it's just suppressed out of necessity.
With 3 injections a week, you'd think I would have completely gotten the hang of it... but I still have to take a huge breath and gear myself up to jabbing a needle into my abdomen.
I am incredibly grateful for the medications I am taking and I don't know where I would be without them - some of them have been very beneficial. So I do these injections. But stabbing myself with a needle three times a week is still a difficult thing to do, and I still get anxiety attacks when dealing with the cortisone injections or an epidural.
I am still frightened of needles. I just had to grow up and realize that it is a means to an end; that these injections are making my pain and illnesses more manageable. It's a positive thing.