For the majority of the time, my illnesses are very invisible. Even when I am using my cane, most people simply assume that I have been injured, and usually they ask about my knee or leg.
When I use my wheelchair, however, it is hard not to notice.
I find that there are a few types of people:
The scrutinizers: those who watch and scrutinize my every move, noticing when I move my legs or get up from my chair. These people have likely never known the concept of needing a wheelchair and not being paralyzed in some way. Some scrutinizers are rude, many are simply curious and a little confused.
Then there are the Ignorers: those who refuse to make eye contact and would prefer to ignore my existence. I can relate to this. People do not want to come off as staring or judging, and so if they do not know what to do, they simply act like I am invisible. I don't really mind this, as most people are just unsure of what is appropriate, so they do their best not to offend by just not having any contact. It's hard when everyone has a different view or perspective. For me personally, I would prefer more people ask (politely, of course) rather than ignore. It can be a moment of acknowledging the struggles of so many who have chronic illness. I used to be an ignorer to an extent. I would usually smile at the individual, sometimes ask if they needed a hand, then just go about my day. Now, when I see someone using a wheelchair or a cane, I just act like I would with any other human being: I smile, maybe say "hi", ask how their day is going, and - depending on the vibe - perhaps ask what they are suffering with.
I cannot tell you how many people have looked at me just feeling grateful to be acknowledged. People who are ill are just people. Just another person running another normal errand who (usually) want to be treated like any other normal human being.
The last type are the Kind ones: these people will go above and beyond. Sometimes I will get special treatment (way more with a wheelchair than with a cane - I find more people are rude to me when I use my cane). Sometimes this can seem like pity, and it can stem from that feeling, but most people are simply trying to be kind individuals. Just like the Ignorers, kind people do not always know what behaviour is best, or how the disabled individual will react. Just like any other human being, though, some people are offended when being helped, some are grateful, some are happy and positive, some are angry and negative. So, treat disabled people like you would anyone else, with polite kindness. If it's met with anger then go ahead and ignore.
We are all just people. Trying to get through life one day at a time, running errands, building friendships and relationships, trying to find our way in this world.
The Lighter Side of wheelchair use is that people are more inclined to be kind. Wheelchair use has opened up a lot of different aspects of life. I can attend big events (like craft shows, Stampede, markets, etc...) without crashing too hard. I can save my energy. Being in a wheelchair also means I am given the benefit of the doubt when it comes to bag searches and the like. Plus, an added bonus, you know those moments when people are leaving an event and hadn't used up a drink ticket or a ticket to enter an event, so they look for someone to give those to as they are leaving? You can bet that if you look like you are struggling, if you are disabled, or if you having children, you are a prime benefactor of these small tokens of kindness.
Despite the appearance of humans on social media, people are inherently kind. It is awful to have to use a wheelchair even some of the time. So instead of wallowing in that dreary mindset, I point out the lighter side of it. If we focus on the perks, however slight, life is just easier.
Happy Monday!
No comments:
Post a Comment