Bravery

The idea of bravery is a complex subject, and resides more in the past than it does in the present. 

What I mean is that most people who are considered to be 'brave' or who have 'acted bravely' rarely actually feel brave. 

The truth is, we all simply make decisions in the moment. We think, we react, we act - sometimes what ensues could be considered brave, but for the most part we focus on getting through a particular moment. 

When it comes to illness and handling difficult medical situations, I have never felt brave. Not once. I have felt terrified, I have felt a sense of calm, I have felt panicked, awkward, embarrassed, and I have absolutely held my tongue and put on a smiling face when I have been utterly petrified. For me, facing an illness, and facing a trip to the ER or a surgery or new medication or treatment is simply a reality. 

To some people, just leaving the house is brave, or facing the social expectations of a party is brave. Do we ever feel brave while in the present moment, or do we only feel that bravery afterwards, when we are home and safe and analyzing every tiny little detail of our own behaviour?