The two sides - issues with health and issues with dating - sometimes go hand in hand, but also sometimes have nothing to do with each other.
Today's Music Monday Edition is a song that I wrote a few years back. It's called Unfinished Tattoo and it is a combination of English and French:
It can be downloaded from iTunes as well.
At this time in my life, not only was I starting to deal with major hip pain that was new, having drastic energy depletions, discussing being unable to work, but I also dealt with the oh-so-common broken heart.
I know, it sounds completely cliché, but, to be honest, this was probably the most devastating time I had had in a while.
I needed someone. (This was a new feeling for me). I needed to be able to rely on someone, to have someone help me get to and from appointments... I needed someone to simply be there to hold my hand or to cuddle me or just hold me while I tried to sleep. I needed someone who could bring out the best in me... Who knew every facet of my personality. And I found it!
I met someone who had seen me when I was doing pretty damn well, but also when I was completely reliant on help. Someone who knew every part of who I am and wanted to be a part of it.... But it could never happen. A relationship was never going to work (for several reasons - including the fact that I cannot have kids). It was probably the first real, adult, loving relationship I had ever been in... And no matter how we felt, it was never going to work out.
The only satisfaction in going through such a heartbreak is that it reminds me that I AM completely normal. Every person goes through heartbreak at some point in his/her life.
So among all of the stressful appointments and treatments and reactions and hospital visits and emergency room mishaps, there was this real yet non-existent relationship.
How confusing.
I am very lucky now to finally feel that way about someone again. As much as heartbreak breeds great creativity... I like being this happy. :)
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