Bad dreams are simply a part of life.
Everyone experiences bad dreams, everyone has experienced that moment of panic when you wake up unable to breathe, or you wake up in tears, or you wake up so terrified that you are paralyzed.
Bad dreams are normal.
They are even more normal for people who have experienced real trauma.
They are also more normal for people who are taking medications that can exacerbate these nightmares.
I have been having more nightmares lately. The ones where I wake up so terrified that all I want to do is turn on every light in the house, but also so frightened that I can't move a muscle. So I take things slowly... I move my eyes to remind myself where I am, I move my fingertips to remind me who is home with me, then build up to move my arm to grab my phone to light up the room without waking Ryan up. I scroll through social media to remind myself of what is real, then I eventually get up and watch mundane things like dog or cat videos to calm down - after squeezing up to Ryan and/or Decker for a few panicked minutes.
Sometimes I can get back to sleep... sometimes I can't. If I can't, then I watch Netflix or something in the other room.
I think the worst nightmares though, apart from one specific type I don't even like saying out loud, are the ones that are even remotely realistic.
The injuries.
The deaths.
The very detailed and vivid dreams where I remember every single second of what happened...
I had one of those last night. One that I have never had before and will probably stick with me for years. The worst part? I have friends who have been through the same situation - but in reality. I am grateful mine was only a dream.
💔