Earlier tonight I was having a pretty great night.
Our weekend plans had been canceled at the last minute, so we decided to have a little date and check out a Christmas Market.
It was a massive place and I absolutely should have used my walker, but I was unprepared and only had my cane... and I am stubborn as hell.
Despite the ensuing pain that radiated from my hips and back and ribs and shoulders and ears and head and hands and eyes... we still had a great evening. We did not get far, I sat down whenever and wherever I could (including beside outdoor firepits which were super romantic), and Ryan had to run back and forth to check out vendors he thought I would like to see, but I loved it. I loved being out and having an interesting date night.
Here's where I ruined it.
My GI symptoms were actually relatively calm tonight. In hindsight it was likely adrenaline mimicking calmer guts, but I was just happy that I felt a bit better. Not only that, but I was hungry!!! For real food - not the food I have been eating for the past month... which includes Boost (for minimal pain), French toast (for God knows what reason that seems to cause minimal pain), potatoes and maybe bland chicken for moderate pain, and toast with peanut butter for moderate pain.
So what do I do? I decide to actually eat some incredibly tasty food. From some fresh vegetables to toast with peanut butter and JELLY this time (no seeds but lots of flavour), and French macarons (because they are my favourite).
Well...
Now my guts are in an absolute rage and I am stuck in the guest bedroom because I am rocking back and forth, crying, dry heaving from intense nausea, and just wishing that all of that would LEAVE MY SYSTEM.
I felt better - so I decided to eat. And then, suspecting it may have been a one-day reprieve, I kept eating to take advantage of the little time that I had of feeling a bit better.
How can I describe this?
It is like every single piece of food that goes into my body causes food poisoning. It is agony and I can't wait for my body to completely expel it out of my system. But I have to wait. I have no choice.
A laxative (however tempting even an enema is right at this very moment) would absolutely cause more intense pain because of the internal inflammation.
So I wait.
I wait at all hours of the morning, distracting myself with social media and blog writing and Netflix.
I wait until it's all gone, then I go back to Boost for several days until this latest 'episode' is far enough behind me that I forget how much damn pain I am experiencing - just from eating.
I mean, even with two Boost, some French Macarons, Apple Cider, Pb&J Toast, AND veggies with corn chips, I still did not consume more than about 1200 calories.... yet I feel like I had 5000 all at once that all caused food poisoning.
Let's just hope our house does not turn into a scene from Bridesmaids.