Pressure

After watching someone on tv tonight get emotional because of pressure, I wanted to talk about the distinction between crumbling under pressure and simply becoming emotional under pressure, as well as acknowledging the different ways that people handle pressure.

There is often this misunderstanding that if you become emotional or cry because of pressure, that you cannot handle the pressure. For some reason we have this idea that if we show any sign of strain or difficulty, then that automatically reduces us to this idea that we are incapable of handling difficult situations. We all handle stress and pressure in a variety of ways. Some people cry when they are angry, some people say nothing. Some yell and scream and raise their voices when they are hurt, some smile and shed a tear or two in the privacy of a bathroom stall. Some people smile or even laugh when they are nervous and tense, even in the most devastating situations, like at funerals for example.
What distinguishes the ability to 'handle' pressure is not the automatic reaction of the body, but what happens afterwards.
I, for one, don't care if you cry through an entire experience - if you are successful through that experience and you push forward and finish despite any emotion, that means you can handle the pressure. On the other hand, if you cry and break down and completely give up what you are doing because of the pressure, to the point where you cannot even finish the task you set out to do or have a complete lapse in necessary communication, all because of stress or pressure, then sure - maybe that's when you cannot handle pressure.

There is a difference between becoming emotional and completely shutting down. If there is no breakdown, no failure to communicate, and you do what you were required to do, then all that shows is that you were emotional and that this particular task or job or game or whatever is incredibly important to you.

Crying - or tearing up - in and of itself is not a sign of weakness. I don't think it should be seen as a sign of weakness anymore. We have moved so far past that.
Only when crying is coupled with giving up or breaking down or refusing to communicate or move forward - that is when it is obviously too much for someone to handle. I mean, if someone is utterly inconsolable or can barely move from the sheer stress, then yes that can be a problem. You don't particularly want a surgeon, for instance, who cannot steady their hands before a procedure, or someone so nervous that they cannot complete their job, but these things can also occur in isolated instances.

When it comes to health, this kind of idea struck a chord with me recently. These cortisone injections had me especially scared. The surgery that I had last January had me mortally scared. I cried. My eyes welled up. I was shaky. I even had a panic attack.
What I didn't do was crumble.
When the nurse came in to put that epidural in my back, I didn't move or flinch or panic and ask her to give me a few more minutes or slow down or refuse at the last moment. When that three inch needle went all the way into the joint I didn't scream 'ow ow ow ow' or ask the doctor to stop. Was I crying? Yep. Was I inconsolable? No. I was scared. I was dealing with stress and pressure and emotion - but I still handled it. When that second needle went in, I didn't try to pull back or pull away. I gripped the pillow and winced in pain, but I managed to lay still.
When a doctor wanted to do a colonoscopy with no sedation, yeah I was shaky as hell, and I was in a hell of a lot of pain, but I got through it without any breaks of any kind. When I used to get a Lupron shot that got dangerously close to the bone each time, I hated every second of it, but I took a deep breath and handled it, every month. Three times a week I do my own sub-cutaneous injections -> I still get shaky and super nervous the split second before I insert that needle, but I do it every time. I don't avoid them. I don't stop doing them because they hurt or because they aren't fun to do - I do them because my body needs me to be able to do them. 

A 'moment of weakness' is just that - a moment. You can have grit and determination and you can be able to handle anything - even in the presence of tears. Or shaking hands. Or nervous smiling. As long as you push forward and keep going - you can handle the pressure.

I think we need to stop seeing nervousness and a few tears as a sign of complete failure. It's not. Not as long as you don't crumble and give up - and even then, if you can fail and then get back up and try again and again, you haven't actually failed.
So cry, shake, giggle, panic a little, but then take a breath and push forward.

Show people that emotion doesn't mean weakness.