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Saturday, 19 May 2018

Remembering Coping Skills

Some friends were having a backyard bonfire tonight and I really wanted to go. It's just laid-back, sit down by the fire all night if I want to, visit with friends kind of gathering.

After last night's meltdown from old symptoms making their way into present time, I was understandably nervous.
Lots of people, one bathroom, stairs to go in and out of the house. That could be a devastating combination.

But I remembered something. I used to do this all the time when I was at my worst - when these symptoms pervaded my every single moment. How did I handle them? How did I ever manage to be amazingly social??
Well - I remembered the answer.
Just don't eat.
I know it sounds dramatic and unfathomable to some, but very truly, by not eating, I wouldn't have as many painful cramps, and the frequency of bathroom breaks should go down.

And it worked!!!
I ate a biscuit super early this morning, then made sure it was through my system before leaving. Well through my system. Hours before leaving.
Then I refrained from eating.
I ate nothing at home, I ate nothing while I was there, and I did not have to race to the washroom once in two hours.
I am impressed.

I am also weak and pale and become colder a lot faster, but it worked!!! No urgency, no accidents, no flushed hobbly-run to the washroom praying it is unoccupied - I got to hang out by the fire and visit the whole time.

So sure it's bad to cope by refusing to eat, but it worked.
Now that I am home and have a bathroom all to myself all night, I can eat if I feel inclined to do so.

Hooray for coping skills.
If I had not dealt with this when I was so young, I would not have such a sophisticated arsenal of coping strategies and ideas. One benefit to being ill early on in life.

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