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Tuesday, 5 March 2019

Remembering the Mountaintop

I used to do quite a bit of hiking when I was younger.
Nothing major.
Just little hikes. Smaller mountains.
I once did a 14km hike up a bigger trail when I was horrendously ill - and was so proud of what I had accomplished - but I stuck mostly with smaller trails.
Ones with incredible views of lakes, towns, or waterfalls.
I flourished in that mountain air, eating GORP at the top and watching the chipmunks run around.

I loved every single moment. Even the tougher moments when I though I might pass out.

I never really thought about what would happen if I couldn't really hike anymore. I always thought I would hike several times every summer until I was over 80 years old.
I mean, I don't KNOW that I can't manage a hike. I know that my hips cannot handle a walk of a block... and that stairs are difficult... but I think if I really put my mind to it and convinced myself it would be worth the eventual hospital trip and several weeks to recuperate, I could do it.
Just like our wedding day.
I was terrified that I would not even make it to our reception. Hell I was terrified I would not be able to physically handle the ceremony - and it was difficult but SO worth it.
So maybe a mountain (a small trail) would be possible. It would take out at least 2 months for recuperation... but I already have several walking sticks. I could take my injections up there with me should I require them. We could bring tents and a sleeping bag if I couldn't make it down from sheer exhaustion.
Maybe I could manage a little hike. After building up to it.
Maybe.

Or maybe my hiking days are entirely behind me. Maybe they are back there where my volleyball and softball days are. Where my running days and my ability to walk for hours and hours all day are.

I wonder if I would have done anything different though, on those mountaintops that I cherished so much. Would I have taken twice as many photos? Would I have stayed at the top longer and really take in that view more?
I don't think so. I think I took in every single breath that I could - breathing in every single moment.
All I hope is that I remember that feeling.
If I can never manage a hike like I used to, I want to remember exactly how it felt to sit on the top of a mountain and just exist there, feeling accomplished and exhilarated and grateful to experience something so beautiful.

Man I need to get back out into the mountains. Even if I cannot hike, the drive alone would do me some good!

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