The Problem with Honesty

Honesty is often seen as a rare characteristic.

People are really well-known for bending, stretching, or manipulating the truth. If people do not outright lie, there is a general assumption that we have omitted crucial information, or that we are not telling the whole truth.

People lie.
A lot.

We lie about what time we will actually show up when meeting friends.
We lie about any habits - drinking, smoking, sexual activity, speeding, drug use.
We lie about our accomplishments.
We lie about how we feel about people and activities.
We lie about how long we'll be somewhere, how much we spend, how happy we are.
We lie about being busy, we lie about canceling plans.
We lie to our families, our friends, our doctors, cops, teachers, nurses, kids, neighbours, coworkers.
We lie online all the time. About who we are, we edit videos and audio clips in a biased way, we write news articles that sway one way or another.
Manipulating facts is an ugly part of human nature.

If someone says: "I spent about $50", that person probably spent $100.
If someone says: "I had a couple drinks", it may be more like 7.
If someone says: "I'll be ready in 10", or "I have never in my life done that", or "I don't remember promising that", you can bet that none of those statements are actually true.

So what happens to people who are actually honest??
What happens to that person who actually admits to having 7 drinks? What happens to the people who actually say they are not feeling up to hanging out? What happens when we are truly honest about who we are and how we are feeling?
The honest people are still assumed to be lying - which makes them look a whole lot worse!

When it comes to honesty in healthcare it can be a true balancing act.
Unfortunately, it means that people who are telling the truth may pay the price for those who have lied and ruined rapport. It means that whatever we say is suspected to be a lie - so it is important to be able to prove certain facts. It means being prepared to be punished for being honest, while watching an adept liar get away with everything.

Honesty is a true virtue, it may just come with some negative side effects that are unavoidable, unless you would rather resort to lying...

We are all guilty of it.
Instead of having a swear jar, I wonder how we would fare with having a 'fib' jar? Any lie, fib, stretch, bend, embellishment, exaggeration, omission, etc... could cost a nickel. I wonder how much we say out of habit or instinct that is not quite true?
I also think it would be interesting to keep a tally of different fibs and why the truth was not shared? There are so many different situations that result in omissions or sugar-coating of facts. I wonder how shocking it would be to see the number of lies we tell on a regular basis.

For me, I tend to stretch the truth when meeting people who ask me what I do for a living.
The real answer? The exact truth is that I am sick for a living. I am a full-time patient, a housewife, a person who is too ill to make a living on my own. I worked from age 14 to 26, when my body absolutely could not handle employment of any kind anymore. I rely on our medical system, I rely on my husband, I rely on my family, my friends, and on the benefits I had when I was able to work.
This answer often makes me feel guilty. It is not a pretty answer. It comes with stigma, unnecessary guilt, and extra weight on my mind about my function in society. It comes with criticism, pre-conceived notions about being able to 'contribute'. It is uncomfortable; awkward, and it can often turn an entire conversation into an awkward kind of silence.
This is my most common manipulation of the truth.

What are some of yours?