New Symptoms

When some new symptom comes up, there is a predictable set of events that has to occur before I finally speak with a physician about it.

• I tell myself it's not really new, it's just that I'm noticing it more ... 

• I go through all of my medications and explain it away as a new, yet predictable and unfortunate, side effect that doesn't need any attention ...

• I attribute it to one of the various illnesses I already have ...

• I tell myself that it's not really that bad, or bothersome, and that I'm just imagining that it's worse than it is ...

• I start to make silent deals with myself - like if it's still there in a couple days I'll send an email to one of my physicians, or if it gets significantly worse then I'll book an appointment with my family doctor, ... OR I'll plan to casually bring it up at an already-scheduled appointment for something entirely different (this is my most usual way to bring up something new because it makes the least big of a deal/is less bothersome) ...

• If it still hasn't settled or is still an issue, then I'll finally bite the bullet, bring it up, and deal with it. 

I think that's why, if you have chronic illness, it is so irksome when a physician treats you like you're being dramatic, making things up, or that it's 'in your head'. I have learned over the course of 22 years (so far), that the only way to avoid that accusation is to try and deal with every single new thing on your own first - for much longer than actually reasonable (although that has its own set of complications depending on the physician you speak with - like the all-too-common 'if it's been that bad, why did you wait this long?').

It's the reason why it took a full week of uncontrollable burping every 5 seconds before I finally went in for an emergency scope, also why I tend to wait until hour 10 of my cyclic vomiting fits - vomiting every 20 minutes - before I go in for emergency treatment (instead of, like, hour six), and why I waited over a week with ringing in my ear and balance issues before bringing it up with my physician. 

I have hundreds, literally hundreds, of these kinds of examples. I'm going to bet that you do too. 

Sometimes it's just because our understanding/experience of what 'normal' is is entirely convoluted. For instance, something as personal as having blood in my stool due to Crohn's Disease - this is normal for me to have a couple times a week. This is not normal for most people. For me - totally expected. So I let other symptoms slide as 'probably normal for me' much longer than I should.