I believe that one of the worst mistakes that I make (and that, I believe, most people make) is that we compare ourselves to every other person. We compare ourselves in how we look, how we act, how we might appear to others, how we make or spend money, how we seem to feel and show emotions. It's CRAZY! It can become such an obsession - and in our day and age, everything seems to stem from physical appearance.
One thing that I need to remind myself and I think is an important thing to think about is this:
We are all JUST PEOPLE!
Every single person has a complex, complicated, interconnected story - with the world. Each person has his/her own vast and all-encompassing experience. And really, we are all concerned about our own stuff and how important things are to us as individuals, that sometimes we think that other people don't notice (which, half the time, they don't - because they are trying to get YOU to notice THEIR stuff too!).
Although we are very much considered a selfish species, it is also important to realize - in this respect - that MOST people are not malicious people. For example:
That jerk that cut you off today because he didn't look before changing lanes - chances are:
1. He didn't go out on the road today thinking "I'm going to cut someone off in traffic today".
2. The obvious blind spot debate.
3. Maybe he's just had a crisis happen and he is on his way to the hospital or some other emotional thing and just plain needed to get there.
Or how about that person who is on the phone and not quite paying attention to what they are doing? Yeah, okay, there are lots of people who are just simply inconsiderate and oblivious - BUT - maybe they are speaking with a doctor about some bad news. Or maybe their kid that is overseas that they haven't seen in months decided to call at that inopportune time. Or maybe they've been waiting for days for this phone call - whatever it may be.
Every single person has an exact reason for what they are doing.
This whole entry was sparked by looking at pictures and advertisements on Facebook. People 'hating' people who are overweight, then the opposite - people posting pictures of how awful it is to condone women who are 'sticks' and 'how is this a better image?' And 'real men go for curves' vs 'want to lose 15lbs in a week?'.
There is SO much emphasis on weight and physical appearance and I absolutely agree that it is an unhealthy obsession (and I am very much guilty myself of the mindset of comparing). The thing that I want to point out here is that every one of those people in those pictures and advertisements are PEOPLE!!! Skinny, fat, short, tall, every one of them is a complex person with real emotions, real issues, families, friends, struggles, interests - the entire complexity of YOUR life, just a different experience of this world.
So I challenge you (and me) to stop thinking in the mindset of 'oh she's beautiful and skinny her life must be so easy' or 'wow look at the great changes she has made by losing weight'. Stop thinking that we know ANYTHING about someone based on how they look. The only information we know about people is by getting to know them - and every single person deserves the benefit of the doubt until proven otherwise.
*yes I know that there are some very malicious people out there - this is for the general public. But even those malicious people, although there are times when they should be removed from society in order to prevent harm being done to themselves and to others, I believe that they should also be given the opportunity to be understood... From a distance. :)
Coming from a background of invisible diseases - please don't judge me based on what I look like. And most of all, don't assume that I'm "doing great" because I have lost weight. Just take a second to think twice before making a judgment or comparison based on appearance or a one-time encounter.
#thelightersideofmedicine