The last couple months have been extremely difficult - especially the last two or three weeks.
Apart from my emergency total colectomy when I was 17 years old, this is, by far, the worst that I have felt for the longest in the 13 and a half years that I have been dealing with chronic inflammatory illness.
Coming to terms with needing someone to help me be mobile and changing a lot of my routines is hard, but I find that it's the little things that I miss.
I miss running around my kitchen island playing a game with my puppy. I miss standing in the shower underneath my new raindrop shower head. I miss doing yoga and my stretches in front of the fireplace. I miss playing in the yard with Decker. I miss playing the airplane game with my nephew.
What gives me hope is that once this is all figured out, I will get back to all of this.
So for now, I have modified these activities.
I hide in the pantry and play hide and seek with my puppy. My nephew has come to visit me and we do puzzles and play with Lego and word games. I have a chair in the yard so that I can sit and play fetch with my puppy while in a seated position. I run a very small bath then put on the shower so that I can sit underneath my raindrop shower head. I do small leg and arm stretches on the couch or in bed.
There are ways to enjoy these little things - even though they are modified! The bath/shower combo actually felt pretty amazing.
There are always ways to change routines, to change expectations, and to find new ways of coping.
I am having a very difficult time - but there is always a way.
#thelightersideofmedicine