Communicating with any person is tricky if you don't know the person very well. You are unaware of their decision-making processes, their emotional spectrum and what words/actions/thoughts bring out those emotions, and most of all - how do you know how to get your point across in the most effective way possible?
If you are dealing with someone who is an aggressor, then being aggressive right off the bat may not be the best strategy. And yet if you remain too passive, then he/she may never know what you are actually looking for.
This is especially difficult when dealing with doctors - especially specialists. I was told once that my appointments with my specialists should be considered a long-term commitment. And that is exactly what it is. It is a relationship. Which means there are going to be differences of opinion and even arguments - but you need to learn how to communicate effectively with your partner(s) in order to get the best result.
Something to remember is that you BOTH want the same end result. You both want the patient to be healthy. The motivators may be different, you may have different ideas on how to get there or what is causing the problems, but you both want the same end result.
Learning to communicate with your doctors is essential to your care. Trying to figure out what kind of personality your doctor(s) is/are is not an easy feat in most cases... And usually means that you have to modify your OWN ways of communicating.
For instance - if I were to be dealing with any person whose judgment I absolutely trust, but who may seem to have his/her ego bruised easily, then I will try and communicate in a more passive way. Perhaps have all of my symptoms written down, a nice timeline, no concrete questions or assumptions. Allow him/her to ask the questions. If I trust this person, then I trust this person's thought process and reasoning. I need to provide the most accurate information in a non-threatening, non-assuming manner.
If I am dealing with someone who is more assertive, then I usually try to have a set of questions ready to ask. I do enough light research to familiarize myself with what he/she is testing for and what it might mean. I can ask what he/she is doing and why without worrying about seeming like I am trying to take over. I don't want to take over... I just want to understand.
Now someone who is passive-aggressive is (pretty obviously) the most difficult to gauge. Some days it works better if I'm passive and just allow things to go as they go, but sometimes I won't even be noticed unless I make a fuss. THIS is what I hate. Sometimes, if I feel that there has been too much miscommunication, maybe some avoidance, or if I feel that someone just doesn't believe that I am serious, then I always feel trapped. Like my back is against the wall. That if I don't yell and scream and cry and pull my hair out that I am just going to get bulldozed over and I am going to continue to deteriorate....
And there is a point where I need to decide (like any relationship) if it is worth the fight, or if it is better to walk away and hope that someone else may take a closer look. It's the most difficult when you have no idea what the other person is thinking or feeling about you... As a person, as a patient, as a case file.
I make mistakes all the time. I misjudge how to approach a situation or a specific personality type.
I hate being angry. I hate the feeling. I rarely feel it (which is an uncommon blessing), so when I DO feel it, I can't stand it.
I need to learn how to better communicate, but I also hope that people in the medical field also understand that these patients are long-term relationships as well.
In other words - I've actually got several boyfriends, and a couple of girlfriends! Go me! I mean really, they do all see me naked.... I'm just usually puking or crying or wincing or flinching...
And I guarantee you that if you asked every single one of my doctors what kind of communicator I am - you will get different responses from different ones. Why? Because I have to communicate in a different manner to match how they communicate as well. At least I try to. Sometimes I make things worse :(.
So what did we learn today?
1. Communication is key for every interaction you have in your life.
2. Think of your doctors as long-term relationships.
3. I have more relationships than I know how to handle... Haha