In the movie Love and Other Drugs, when the character Maggie goes to this unplanned convention on Parkinson's, there is a quote from a guy whose wife is in stage five. When the boyfriend of Maggie bumps into him at the snack table.... When the bf asks for any advice, the guy proceeds to tell him to go home, pack his stuff, and leave a nice note. To find a healthy young woman. That it isn't just a disease, that it will steal everything that he loves in her - her body, her smile, her mind.
It is one of the most candid and yet unsympathetic quotes I know of. But it is very true. And it is very much the thought process of many.
Many people deny that this is the case. People hide these issues under blankets, behind walls, buried underground. No one wants to talk about how no one wants to be with someone who is sick.
Being sick does not just put a strain on the patient, it puts a strain on every single person involved in the situation. It is hard for anyone to see someone that they care about hurting. Most people will cower away and be thrilled to hear from the ill person once he/she is stable. It is easier to handle when they do not SEE all of the turmoil that goes on behind closed doors.
So why am I writing this?
I want people to realize that I am still a person. I am still me! I have interests and talents and passions. I want your support, not your pity. I am just as deserving of an amazing life as the next person.
We have to remember that behind all of the pain and all of the illness that there is still a person there. Character, personality, emotions, interests, plans for the future, qualities....
Sometimes, in the whirlwind of the medical journeys, I find that all of this can be overlooked. I am not always seen as a person. I am seen as a 'case', a 'patient', a 'sick person'... That somehow I have jumped from possibly one level to a lower level for the sole reason of having the 'baggage' that is my illness. That even if I were a Saint, true to form, that I wouldn't be seen as one because of how prominent the view of chronic illness is.
I could literally be perfect in every single way other than illness and there are still thousands upon thousands who would continue to view me as a 'charity case' or even that it would be difficult being friends with me solely due to illness.
How did we get to this viewpoint? Is it basic primal evolutionary instinct? Survival of the fittest - that I really don't belong?
This is a bit of a ramble...
So here is the truth.
I want support, not pity.
I am not a charity case.
I am a PERSON! With a personality, with talents, with ambition, with plans. I am not simply an entity of illness. I am not simply 'the girl who is sick'.
I am open about my illnesses because, let's face it, it's pretty tough to hide it for more than an evening... But it does not mean that that should be my only or even my most substantial categorization.
I think many situations have caused us to lose sight of the fact that every interaction is with a person. Someone who has struggles. Someone who has a personality, a family, a talent, a plan for his/her life, friends, and just as complex of a life as the next person.
Okay, end of ramble.
#latenightphilosophies