There's one thing about illness that I think transcends ALL types of illness, all types of trauma, all types of struggle. Each person has his/her own struggle to deal with...
So many diseases are SO different in various ways, and even illnesses that have a relatively 'predictable' pattern are often completely different from person to person.
There is one thing, though, that I think is fairly common.
The feeling of being on the verge of tears. The feeling that, at any moment, I could break down and cry, for no particular reason.
It's not that I am actually all that sad... In fact I feel pretty happy most of the time. And it's definitely not always situation specific, rational, or even expected.
I think that it's the release of pressure. There is a saying about each person having his/her own battle that he/she is fighting. Every one of us has demons.
We spend SO much time being strong, putting on a good face, almost to the point of pretending that everything is okay even when you feel like everything in your life is crumbling.
It can happen at the most peculiar of times - at a random commercial about puppies, reading a paragraph in a book or magazine that just chokes you up...
Tonight I was outside with my puppy and I was looking at the stars trying to find the only two constellations that I can find, and I get completely choked up. That staccato of an exhale, tears filling my eyes, almost like and air tight container that's too full and starts to seep out of the lid.
The stars didn't make me feel sad. I'm no sure that anything really made me feel sad... But I just needed that 30 second release.
And this, gentleman, is exactly why we need chick flicks! It gives us an excuse to let out all of that pressure. To cry rationally. Then, next time, maybe we won't cry while we're looking at the stars, or making a sandwich, or watching a commercial about puppies.
:)