Debates are really heating up around the topic of having a disability.
Just the other day, I parked in a handicap stall, and as I was headed to the front door, this lady was giving me a dirty look with a condescending smirk on her face and she actually attempted to inconspicuously take a picture of me. I made sure to look directly at her the entire time... Although I am sure that she may have gone as far as to take a photo of my car or license plate, in hopes to publicly shame me for not being 'sick enough'.
What constitutes being 'sick enough'? For many people it requires 'looking' ill. That usually means using a walking aid, a wheelchair, possibly having a personal caregiver, and other very visible disabilities.
There are so many absolutely debilitating diseases that are severe and serious but don't always cause outward 'sickly' appearances, that it still shocks me when I see the amount of judgement on the faces of others.
Can you visibly see if someone has a heart condition? What about early stages of MS? Or how about mild to moderate epilepsy? Or even Cancer patients - if someone with Cancer has put on makeup, is wearing a wig or is not going through chemotherapy and radiation, how could we see that? That person could be in stage 4 of Cancer and have been given one month to live, yet they may not look ill, they may not need walking aids, so is that not considered 'sick enough' to use a handicap stall?
Anyone who has ever had an illness has been criticized - but there is no winning.
If there are several handicap parking spaces but few general parking spaces available, if I do not use a handicap parking space while I have a placard, people get angry and criticize. If I park in a handicap parking space and I am limping but not using a wheelchair, I am criticized. If I am using a cane or a walker and I have parked in handicap parking, if I come OUT of store and there is an individual with a wheelchair who has parked in a handicap spot a few spaces further, or maybe had to use a general parking space, I am criticized (almost never by the other disabled person) - even though I had obviously arrived much earlier and could not have anticipated the spaces to all be taken. If I am using my cane and have forgotten my placard - so that I park in a general spot - and go into a doctor's appointment, I am criticized for pushing myself too hard and trying to do too much. If I use the handicap washroom - for reasons of urgency or needing the side bar to help me sit or stand - once I walk out, I am criticized. If I don't use a handicap washroom and I take much longer because of medical reasons and difficulty sitting or standing, I am criticized for taking up a 'normal' stall. Then, when I was able to work, if I had to take a day off of work for being ill, my coworkers would criticize. But if I went to work and spent several hours in the washroom throughout the day, I was criticized and told that I should have stayed home.
What's my point?
You simply just CAN'T WIN when you are sick.
Everyone's opinion varies on what is 'sick enough' to use any kind of help for someone with a disability.
Having any kind of a disability is frustrating enough. It knocks us down. It is not a PLEASANT thing. There is nothing glamorous about being ill in any way, shape, or form. Every single day is a struggle.
If a person has used a handicap parking space, or a handicap stall in a washroom, or has mentioned being very ill, can we just agree that his/her life is likely hard enough without being judged by every single person on the street?
And if there IS someone who is truly abusing these features (like buying used placards online from people who no longer need them while being perfectly healthy themselves) then your opinion and your judgement won't actually mean SQUAT to that sort of individual anyways.
So - to the woman who glared and smirked and attempted to take a picture:
Go ahead! I will even smile for the camera! I am not sure why my parking offended you so much since I was very obviously limping that afternoon, but I have a handicap placard for a variety of reasons, and if you had just approached me in a non-threatening manner and ASKED me why I needed that space, I would have been happy to let you know the 20+ different reasons why parking in a handicap stall was necessary on that particular day - ranging from heart palpitations and urgency to severe arthritis pain in my hips and shoulders, not to mention the swelling that was occurring in my legs and arms that required slow and very short distance walking - if any at all.
Many severe diseases are invisible.
Your dirty looks are not.
Why would you want to spend the energy and go out of your way to make someone's day more miserable?