Ever have something happen to you or around you that was such bad timing that it almost made it comical?
That situation that causes you to think: 'did that actually just happen?', while wondering if there are hidden cameras somewhere in the vicinity?
Yesterday, I had an appointment with a surgeon. My doctors are going through the process of scheduling me for a very large, very scary, very invasive surgery. It is a necessary evil, but it is so complicated that we have to coordinate with up to 8 different surgeons who have to be present.
The appointment didn't go badly per se, but it didn't really go well either. I left feeling more confused, with more questions than I went in with, and now having heard complete opposite plans, opinions, prescriptions, and advice than what was said to me in the last few weeks from other specialists. It made me realize that these people who are supposed to be working together on my surgery have not actually consulted with each other yet!! It also left me feeling as though this decision that had been made and finalized has now been taken back a step and put up in the air again - and I am left fighting for what needs to happen - which was technically already decided on!!!
This appointment was draining, confusing, frustrating, and left me feeling completely beat down and worn out.
I even ended up crying during the appointment.
Alright, so here is the comical part.
I walk out of the office - bewildered and puffy-eyed - and as I get into the elevator, this sweet older woman looks at me and (in a cheerful voice) says:
"So how is your day going so far??"
After a moment of speechless shock, I managed to say:
"You know what? It could definitely be worse."
We ended up discussing her vacation next week and all of the new flowers she intends to plant in her new garden, and I even mentioned how I would love a cherry blossom tree in my yard once I have a fully private yard.
There is a possibility that she saw my tear-streaked face and sad expression and wanted to try and brighten my day - and for that, I am SO thankful for. That was such a kindness on a day where I really needed it.
Then - I stopped at the pharmacy to pick up new medication. You have to understand - by this point I am completely drained, I am more than just a little upset, and any conversations around this particular surgery are difficult. (It is a hysterectomy - and no matter how prepared I am, it is still a very hard reality to come to terms with). So I teared up half a dozen times just in the store. There was no stopping it. I needed to cry and even though I wanted privacy, the medication I had to pick up was necessary. I had to be there - no matter what kind of emotional state I was in.
After having a bit of lunch and getting a hot apple cider, I sat by the pharmacy and waited for my meds.
That's when this older gentleman sat down. He also started with:
"How is your day going so far?"
I smiled and simply said that it was going just fine, but added that it DID kind of feel like a Monday. He agreed and mentioned that he had a hell of a time dragging himself out of bed that morning.
He then proceeded to tell me that he had gone to Las Vegas last week, he was headed to the Bahamas next week, and then he has three more trips to Vegas planned, one to Barbados, and continued to tell me about his trip to Uganda.
It really was such bad timing that I couldn't help but giggle internally.
He asked me if I had ever been to the Bahamas or Barbados... And when I told him I hadn't had the opportunity, he was so excited and said that I was young and that I have all the time in the world to go, and that when I have children, I should take them to these warm climates during the Winter to get away from the cold.
It's one of those things where you can't blame people for not knowing that I can't really travel, especially to some of those locations. I can't blame him for being thrilled about his vacations and not knowing that I had this very difficult appointment that reminded me that my ability to have children was taken away from me a long time ago... I can't blame him for being excited and bragging about his past and future vacations.
It was such bad timing, that if it were a sitcom episode, it would be amusing.
I managed to smile and nod and ask some vague questions about the best areas to go to, the best food he had, how completely different the culture was, and when he got up and left, I allowed myself a few tears before my prescriptions were ready.