While enjoying a blisteringly hot weekend at the lake, it dawned on me - while discussing random life experiences by the campfire - that I tend to bring up or refer to medicine fairly often.
Sometimes, especially when telling stories or drawing from personal experience to relate to new friendships, I find myself referring to various medical information. I was so aware of it this weekend that I actually made a point to stop talking altogether for a while. I made the effort to ask questions, include the various interests and jobs of others, and I, frequently, even snuck off to read my novel or take Dex for a nice walk or swim. I love being social, but medicine is not exactly a common subject that comes up in general small talk. Many people seem to be uncomfortable with the topic.
I have always been a little confused by this - not knowing exactly why I am bringing these things up. Contrary to what it might look like, or sound like, or seem like, I am not looking for sympathy or sympathetic words (although, when sympathetic notions/gestures are genuinely given, it can feel nice). It is absolutely NOT my goal to make people feel sorry for me, and if people ask follow-up questions, I am often uncomfortable talking about specifics - especially in a group setting. Privately, I am an open book and if you are genuinely interested, then I am more than willing to share experiences and specifics. In group settings, however, I tend to stick with vague answers like "oh I just have a whole bunch of chronic medical issues" or "oh it's a whole list of stuff and tough to explain", unless someone asks a pointed question.
Seems kind of odd, right?
Well, I think I have figured out the reason.
I am a full-time patient. Being a patient is what I do for a living (and what I do to even have a living). When meeting new people, it is characteristic of most of us to refer to our job and activities and hobbies when sharing stories, experiences, jokes, advice, and even questions. It becomes more and more intense with the amount of time the work consumes.
Let's discuss, for instance, school teachers. Often, in group settings, a teacher will refer to students or classrooms, maybe playgrounds and different parenting techniques, topics on learning, school subjects, performing, nutrition, etc... A teacher will refer to his/her employment to participate in discussions.
A personal trainer will likely talk about working out, healthy eating, exercise, fitness competitions, overall weight etc...
Someone working in retail will refer to interactions with customers, socializing techniques, marketing, shopping, etc..
A bartender will tell stories that revolve around drinking and funny/stupid things that people do while intoxicated...
A parent may show pictures and participate in the conversation when the general topics continually include children and all of the excitement and worry and comical stories that accompany parenthood... (Including fur-babies).
I am a patient.
That is my 'job'.
168 hours per week of medical jargon.
So most of my stories and my interactions are based on medical issues.
Further to that, discussing my hobbies aren't always received openly either. If I constantly refer to singing and performing at various events, being a part of photo shoots for a stock photo company, playing sports (when I could), practicing yoga, or even my love for cooking - it often sounds like bragging! With that said, I believe that most people like to boast a LITTLE about some of the amazing opportunities that they have come across, but those subjects are normally pretty finnicky. Those topics can breed doubt or criticism, competition, disbelief, and even full-on annoyance. It can simply rub people the wrong way and give an inaccurate representation of character. Even this weekend, I would have truly enjoyed singing campfire songs at night - but I didn't want to seem like a show-off or conceited.
Due to the above reasons, I tend to focus on medicine, camping, kayaking, my adorable puppy (who was perfectly well-behaved camping - yay!), NFL and the Seahawks, and my spectacular boyfriend. However, even this kind of input can be awkward. And let's face it, talking about relationships and being in love has the potential to create even more tension.
The truth is, every topic of conversation can be annoying or offend someone in a group setting, but we must all draw from our own set of unique experiences.
It is not that I don't have many other interests - I absolutely do! But I am a patient for 168 hours a week. It includes constant appointments, procedures, phone calls and emails, and it is ALWAYS on my mind. Just as a workaholic will likely refer to his/her employment and always worry about phone calls and emails from work, the bulk of my life is taken up by medical issues.
So I ask your forgiveness - I don't MEAN to bring up stories about medicine so often. I am not intentionally seeking praise or sympathy, and the last thing that I want to seem is annoying. It is simply that my entire life has to cater to the fact that I am very sick, so I have the most discussion material around that particular topic.
Thank goodness these new acquaintances all seemed to love Decker. A pup is always a great ice breaker and can change the focus. I mean, who doesn't like cute pets and animals?? The vast majority of people can relate to pets and kids - anything that is adorable and funny.
So I ask my readers, what is your largest pet-peeve topic of conversation when you are sitting in a circle around a campfire?