Being chronically ill has taught me so many lessons that I will never be able to remember them all over the course of a lifetime.
One of the most essential lessons that I, personally, have learned is to never lose faith.
It is important to always keep in sight everything that you want out of life. I guarantee you that there will be obstacles. You are going to be forced to change directions and even go backwards and make uncomfortable decisions. You are going to be tempted to change focus and to abandon your resolve. There are going to be tough times, there are going to be tougher times. Mistakes are going to be made, friends and relationships will move in and out of your life, and it is OKAY to question everything. Overthink, over-prepare, and then be spontaneous, make impulse decisions, get lost on purpose, fall in love with people and stories and music and activities and landscapes and cultures and food and varying subjects. Learn and be open.
Being a patient has taught me more about patience and faith than anything else. The more I rely on the science and diagnostic testing and procedures, the more faith I end up having.
Seems a little convoluted right?
In order to relax and attempt to take everything in stride, I have to have a whole helluva lot of faith to back me up.
I need to have the faith that my doctors are making decisions that are in my best interest. I have to have faith that the people who are truly in charge of keeping me alive are doing the best that they can, and that their intentions are to be genuinely helpful.
I have to have faith that everything will work out - that there is some sort of plan. I need to believe that everything happens for a reason. Even if the purpose of suffering is JUST to make me understand what suffering really means, if there is only a lesson in there for me personally, I need to believe that there is some sort of reason. I also don't need to KNOW the reason, it is simply a comfort to believe that a reason exists.
I have to have faith that this is exactly the existence that I was meant to experience. My life means something - if only to a very small group of wonderful people.
I have to have faith that I will strive to better myself, to make better decisions, and to continue learning from my mistakes.
I have to have faith that I will achieve all of my goals in life.
I will have to adapt. It will not be easy. It may take longer. It will be frustrating. I may get side-tracked.
BUT
I have faith that it will happen - in some way.
How am I sure?
I am sure because I have already achieved an entire list of goals that I had set out for myself.
I am more thankful than ever to have that base instinct of having faith, probably because of how I was raised. I don't necessarily mean anything 'religious' or 'spiritual'. Faith, to me, is simply to believe in SOMETHING. When I struggle in life, just the belief that there is SOMETHING good out there helps me immensely.