If you know an individual with chronic illness, or if you yourself have chronic illness, then it is possible that you have heard about the "Spoon Theory".
Please take a look at the official explanation here:
The Spoon Theory has become something of a staple in the chronic illness community. It is one of the most efficient ways to help others understand what it is really like to live with chronic illness in terms of energy.
We are forced to make difficult decisions on a daily basis. Performing menial tasks requires so much extra energy and effort, that we have to plan our days according to our energy levels. A to-do list may only have 6 items listed, but we have to decide which items we are capable of doing while still being able to go about our day - because once our energy stores are depleted for that day, it's over. There is no way to gain more energy once it's been used up, unless we have the opportunity to have a full sleep. We can't simply drink a cup of coffee or have a cat nap in order to get a second wind.
As Christine Miserando (a Lupus patient advocate) explains, when you are given a diagnosis of a chronic illness, it is like being handed a handful of spoons for each day. Not only do you have a limited number of spoons, but the number changes from day to day. In addition to that, no matter how well you may be feeling on any particular day, your spoons are constantly on your mind; you can't let them go, you cannot forget about them. You have to always be aware of your spoons; your illness.
For me personally, here are some activities that cost spoons. These are the approximate amounts, but sometimes an activity can cost fewer, or it can cost even more:
Getting out of bed - 1
Eating - 1
Showering - 3
Bathing - 2
Doing my hair - 2
Putting on makeup - 1
Letting Decker outside - 1
Getting dressed - 2
Walking to my car in my parking spot - 1
Going to my car parked on the street - 2
Driving in the city - 2
Doctor's appointment - 3
Making medical phone calls - 2
Visiting a friend (at his/her place) - 4
Having a friend visit (at my place) - 2
Getting groceries - 7
Playing fetch with Decker - 3
Going on a bike ride - 6
Missing an afternoon nap - 4
Missing a dose of medication - 4
Cooking - 3
Vacuuming - 6
Going out for dinner - 5
Going to a movie - 5
Going on a 2+ hr road trip - 7
Emptying the dishwasher - 3
Singing/performing - 4+
Doing dishes - 2-3
Wearing heels - 3
As you can see, some of those activities are necessary. I can't avoid some of the above activities, so no matter how many 'spoons' are allotted to me on any particular day, there are already some that are immediately accounted for. Certain aids like a walker, a cane, being driven by someone else (friend or cab), ordering take-out, or simply enlisting the help of a friend or family member, can help to reduce the amount of 'spoons' it takes to do certain activities.
Now imagine, on any given day, being handed 20 'spoons'. You wake up, and that is your finite amount of energy that you are capable of expending. Perhaps, on that particular day, you also have a very stressful doctor's appointment scheduled. By the time you have reached the doctor's appointment (without showering or bathing), you have already used 14. That doesn't leave you much room. It forces you to decide if you can actually stop at the pharmacy that day or if you should try and get there the next day and maybe cook dinner instead. Or maybe you have a nice date planned that night, so you end up sleeping for three or four hours in the afternoon to replenish a couple of extra 'spoons'. Or maybe you take some extra medication to give yourself a couple more 'spoons' for that day - BUT, in doing so, you are essentially borrowing from your energy stores meant for the following day.
If I do something that requires more energy than I have, that depletes my amount for the next day. That's why, when I have a performance or go on a date or try to do too much, I have to sleep for two to three days straight. I simply do not have the energy to do anything except take care of my puppy.
I always have to pay attention to my 'spoons'. It is a constant running tally in my head and I am always weighing my options - what activity is worth depleting my energy stores?
When I was younger, if my dad would ask my grandmother what she did that day, I never understood why she only responded with one activity. If she had gone to the grocery store, if she had gone to play bingo, or if she did some baking, that was literally the only thing she did that day, and yet she was completely worn out. Even more than that, she spent the entire previous day stressed about possibly not having the time to do that one errand.
Now I understand.
It wasn't necessarily time that was hindering her from doing more, it was a lack of energy. When you have such little energy, you spend 20 hours sleeping and 4 hours trying to accomplish one thing that would take ALL of your 'spoons' for that day.
So when you ask me why I was able to sing one day but was completely incapable of coming over to watch a movie - this is why. If you see me out two-stepping then wonder why you don't hear from me for a week - this is why. Every time I make plans, they are (unfortunately) always tentative. If I wake up and I have caught a bug of some sort (like this past week), any extra plans are impossible.
Just like everyone else, I have to prioritize my activities and my days. Every single day is different and I have to constantly make choices as to which activities are worth spending a limited amount of precious energy. Certain activities and responsibilities cannot be avoided, and more often than not, it is my social calendar that suffers.