When making new friends and acquaintances, one question that is frequently asked regarding my health concerns is: "I don't mean to pry, but may I ask what it is that you have?"
As you may have guessed, I am basically an 'open book', as the saying goes. I have no hesitation when it comes to explaining anything or answering questions. Being open in this way helps raise awareness for otherwise confusing, and sometimes rare, health conditions. Awareness is what helps lead to more research for that particular condition.
Along with these conversations comes a 'rule of three'. In my experience, if an individual is asked personal questions regarding hobbies, favorite movies/tv shows or novels, pet peeves, etc... The person asking the questions will often listen intently to the first three items on the list, and then tune out (whether intentional or not).
Due to this common behavior, I also practice following this 'rule of three'. So, when I am asked what health conditions I suffer from, I tend to mention only three. (Yeah... Only...)
Sounds fairly basic does it not?
Well... Sometimes this causes a problem.
Let's take, for example, a situation where I have signed up and committed to a new hobby or activity. That particular hobby is enjoyed by what can be described as a 'community', and over the course of four months, I am introduced and have become friends with several different people from this community.
During the first month, the fundamental question is posed - "may I ask what illnesses you suffer from?"
Sure! Absolutely!
Off the top of my head, I then list three conditions:
1. Crohn's Disease
2. Psoriasis
3. Chronic Migraines
Later on, someone from that same community asks the same question, and perhaps this time I blurt out this answer:
1. Hashimoto's Thyroiditis
2. Myofascial Pain Disorder
3. Raynaud's Phenomenon
But wait, weeks later the question pops up again and I answer:
1. Hereditary Angioedema (C1 Esterase Inhibitor Deficiency)
2. Early onset Macular Degeneration
3. Tachycardia
Another day I tell them:
1. Recurrent Pancreatitis
2. Sjögren's Disease
3. Arthritis (specifically - Ankylosing Spondylitis).
With all of these diagnosed illnesses, along with Chronic Pelvic Pain, Endometriosis, an AVM in my left lung, Chronic Pouchitis, and an immunodeficiency that is yet to be narrowed down, no WONDER there is so much confusion!!
All of these illnesses follow their own unique schedule and flare up according to a plan that I am not privy to. This means that certain conditions cause the MOST amount of pain and discomfort at different times, so my 'list of three' that pops into my head, as an answer, is often directly related to whichever illness(es) is/are at the foreground of my immediate experience.
I am sure that you can imagine what kind of effect this may have on this brand new 'community'. I don't do this on purpose, by any means, and I even try to keep my answers more consistent than the above example, but I cannot track every single one of these conversations. Further to that, I cannot always predict who is friends with whom, so if several people get together - and have all been given differing answers - if the topic happens to come up (unlikely but possible), could you picture how that conversation might go?? They have each had personal discussions with me - have heard the information straight from the source - but still find that the lists of three are not consistent and don't seem to match up.
Can you see the confused facial expressions? Can you hear the possible speculations and judgements? Can you picture the 'well she told ME this' arguments?
I have some good news for those folks:
Every single one of you is correct.
But no one wants to hear the lengthy answer spouting endless medical jargon. So, instead, this accidental jumbling of all of my conditions is spontaneously organized into several lists of three.
So now, between all of my new friends and acquaintances, I have gone through the full list of diagnosed conditions, without overwhelming or boring each individual with this daunting list.
Then, my imagination presents me with this scene of people sitting in a circle comparing lists.
It is one way of utilizing the grape vine.
So if I give you a list of three and another individual a completely different list of three, I am not lying, but neither of you are incorrect... I just gave six answers between two friends.