Fun and frivolity is a necessity in the lives of every single person - in my opinion.
If every single moment of your life is full of stress and turmoil and difficulty, if you don't balance all of that out with SOME fun, then isn't that pretty inhumane?
Just because I am seriously ill does not mean that I shouldn't be able to smile or laugh or have a good time now and then.
And yet, in our society, why is any indication of having 'fun' somehow a sign of being dishonest about being ill?
Don't get me wrong - there are varying degrees of fun and activity, by all means. It may seem odd if someone is injured and needs to walk on crutches but is seen within that same day sprinting in a 100m dash competition - but it's also not really any of my business.
I am currently watching My Sister's Keeper (which just showed up on Netflix - score!!!).
The following image from that movie depicts the main characters having fun on a trampoline, outside, blowing bubbles. It's the type of photo that people would share on social media like Facebook and Instagram - it's the type of photo that a Cancer patient would be PROUD to show off because he/she is having a little bit of fun:
What I want to make clear is that these kinds of FUN activities and pictures and amazing moments of laughter and happiness can be rare for people who are seriously ill.
In the movie, the mother of the sick child has quit her job to be a full-time mother to someone who is dangerously ill.
Yet, if someone (for instance) from her office were to see the above picture plastered all over Facebook, criticism and outrage would ensue. Usually I would write "may ensue" in order to be politically correct, but let's be honest here: someone, somewhere, in some imagined level of position to criticize, someone would say: "Well, she must not be THAT sick if she's jumping on a trampoline all day" or maybe "They don't really LOOK like they're struggling."
These comments can occur for something as simple as having my parents over to visit.
Yes - sometimes it is for a fun gala or fundraiser, and there will be pictures of us all together having fun, and maybe even documented times where we were able to go shopping.
But 90% of the time - maybe even a higher percentage than that - my parents come up to help me do menial housework because I don't have the energy. More often than not, they come up to vacuum so that I can catch up on sleep. They come up so that I can sleep two or three days away AND have my puppy taken care of while I'm sleeping. They help drive me to appointments so that I can break down and cry and actually absorb new and important information from specialists, and not have to be worried about being a 'distracted driver'. They come up and literally help me carry a bag of dog food - and that is considered a 'shopping trip.'
We all document the good moments, the great moments, the fun and the laughter and the happy moments.
Before criticizing the validity of an individual's suffering based on photos of the RARE moments where an ill individual gets to have a little fun and TRY to ignore the pain, consider that you saw a literal SNAPSHOT into that person's day.
If that is difficult to understand, consider this:
Do you often see a married couple post pictures of one being physically abused by the other? Do you often see photos of a screaming argument? Do you see the 358 nights spent at home or at work, or do you see the amazing photos of the 7-day vacation that a couple was FINALLY able to take?
No.
In pictures, even the most volatile relationships will have an album completely filled with a happy, smiling, and loving couple.
We all want to document our triumphs and great moments... Yet many seem to criticize those moments instead of encourage them. The best healing comes from happiness... So why do we constantly berate it?
It is the happy moments that help me get from one point to the next. It's all of the happy moments and times where I can actually have a little fun that keep me positive and willing to keep fighting.
Please don't take those happy moments away from me simply because they don't necessarily fit your description of what I should look like.