We all know that when the body becomes accustomed to a substance, that suddenly being relieved of that substance can create some unpleasant side effects.
Withdrawal.
Withdrawal doesn't have to be from medications and it doesn't have to be from anything significant, but no matter how small the substance, going through withdrawal is a certain kind of hell.
I have been taking a particular medication to battle nausea over the last 7-8 months. It is a heavy duty antinauseant that is normally prescribed to chemotherapy patients and carries with it a list of unpleasant side effects. Over the last 4-6 months I have had a really tough time getting over that bout of mono and getting back into a normal routine. Some symptoms were just too tough to bear and had me trying to sleep it off at all hours of the day. I wound up with cold sweats and feverish chills for no reason and completely drenched any clothing I wore for more than an hour or so. My temperature gauge seemed as though it was broken and I couldn't seem to get warm no matter how hot the weather got. I would be sitting with two blankets and the fireplace on in 30° weather, drenched from sweat and shivering. Plus, while feeling so rotten, all I wanted to do was sleep it off, but it happened all throughout the day, which resulted in me sleeping nonstop.
We looked for outside reasons why I might be getting these symptoms and settled on the idea that this antinauseant was causing them, so it wad suggested that I go off of the medication cold turkey. No tapering down. No slow reduction. Just plain stopping the medication and trying to find other ways to help the nausea. I mean, I am kind of used to it by now. It has been close to two years of having to bathe instead of shower and I have become accustomed to walking and moving at a slower pace. Maybe I can handle the nausea better than I can handle the feverish sweats. I have to go with the most manageable situation, no matter how bleak.
So this week I stopped taking the medication. I hunkered down in my house, locked the doors and kept the lights off, getting fresh air with my puppy, all the while fighting the withdrawal that came with the situation. I sat on my couch running chick flicks while pools of sweat streamed down my face and arms and back and legs. I planned nothing, I virtually spoke to no one, and just bore the pain and the withdrawal symptoms.
This isn't my first go around. In fact I have done this so many times that I can't recall just how many times I have gone through it. From corticosteroids, from pain pills, antinauseants, sleeping pills, stomach relievers, antibiotics, etc... it is a very lucky thing that severe withdrawal symptoms normally only last a few days. I am coming out of that haze of sweat and nausea and sleep and I am starting to feel a bit more normal, though I know it isn't over yet.
The bottom line is that it isn't as simple as abruptly starting a new medication, and it is never simple going off of one. I wouldn't wish this kind of hell on anyone... but I know that it will help me in the long run... so it is a necessary evil for a better life - even by just a smidgen. Never underestimate the power of routine ingestion for addiction hides in every corner, no matter what the reason.