After my meltdown yesterday I am feeling pretty guilty.
There are literal Nazis walking the streets and I am complaining about not owning jeans that fit.
I realize that, in the grand scheme of things, my problems are trivial. Miniscule.
It is, however, nice to have the freedom and support to voice my menial frustrations and take a couple of hours to then calm myself down.
I think part of our survival instinct is to focus on the little problems so that we feel disconnected from the astronomical societal problems. It is because of this instinct that I do not usually dwell on the 'big picture' problems that I, personally, face.
I am reliant on health professionals and medications. I am reliant on optical aids. I have to rely on medication, glasses, other people, walking aids, simply to survive.
For someone who has put in a great deal of effort to be independent, and to revel in that independence, these are truths that are difficult to face.
Having no jeans to wear is an idiotic #FirstWorldProblems issue.
The bigger issue that was at the base of my meltdown is that I have a genetic disease that I am on no treatment for and for which I need treatment. This disease was more stable 6 months ago when I was still on a medication to help reduce my swelling episodes. I have no control.
For a control-freak who prides herself on being independent, it is gut-wrenching to have to rely on so many other factors for my own comfort and survival.