There is a list that most of us have, whether it is written on paper, pinned on Pinterest, attached to a 'vision board', or simply in our minds. It is the list of places we would like to visit at some point in our lives - when we have the time, health, and resources to do so.
Most people have a list of dream honeymoon locations and ideas of where we would like to go... and mine just got smaller.
I am lucky.
I am lucky that I pushed to travel in my 20s when I was on Remicade and feeling sort of well enough to do so. I had the time, the funds, the health, AND I had found out about my Macular Degeneration, so I took advantage of the situation and went.
My list started a looooooong time ago. It included much of Europe, plus Mexico, Tahiti, heading back to Disneyland, Hawai'i, lots of Canada, Australia, New Zealand, Jackpot, but most of all, I wanted to go to the amusement/rollercoaster park: Cedar Point.
But when I found out about my eyes and researched where I wanted to go, Cedar Point was lowered on the list. Why? Because I wanted to see the beauty of Europe before I lost my sight, and I figured that rollercoasters would even be MORE fun with my central vision gone. That I could still thoroughly enjoy a rollercoaster to the fullest extent if I was blind, but that the landscape and architecture and historical beauty of Europe had to be enjoyed with as much of myself as I could. I started with a shorter cruise in Mexico with a friend to kind of 'test the waters' and see if my body could even handle traveling, then I went on a Mediterranean cruise by myself, then two backpacking trips through Europe. I managed to travel more than many people ever get to travel in their entire lives.
But here is the thing.
Due to my situation, I am, now, not really supposed to leave the country. I had a feeling that that was the case, but I found out for sure this past week. I mean, I CAN leave the country, it would just mean a lot of paperwork and permission and if something went wrong we could lose everything - so it would not be worth the risk. I mean, right now I have neither the funds nor the health, but I could acquire enough of each at some point for a holiday. I am 31 years old and getting married next year - I (hopefully) have a ton of time leftover.
My list is dwindling.
I would have loved to get back to Southern Spain, France, Ireland, or go visit Scotland or Germany... Cedar Point is now disappearing from my 'potentially attainable' list, and any really warm place with a beach and warm ocean water is off the list - at least until I am 65.
So I made a new list!!!
It includes all of Canada's East Coast, going back to the West Coast to go sailing, take a mini cruise on the Great Lakes, go back to Montreal, go to Niagara Falls and Canada's Wonderland, maybe take a cross-country trip and camp at every beautiful lake we can find along the way... We even discussed doing a trip where we would go to London, Ontario... Holland, Manitoba... Paris, Ontario... and do a 'European Tour' right here in this gorgeous country of ours. And then when I am 65, go somewhere hot, go to Disneyland, or wherever I want to by that point.
Of course, the reality of all of this is that I may never travel anywhere else 'extravagant' ever again. I may never feel well enough to enjoy a sunny, sandy beach. I may never be able to afford to go anywhere expensive, and it doesn't really matter. I HAVE traveled, so I am still luckier than many. What I am attempting to do, however, is focus on the excitement of a new list instead of being sad about the former list that is dissipating rather quickly.
So my focus is on the East Coast, sailing the West Coast, kayaking on the Great Lakes, taking rollercoaster rides in Ontario.... and maaaaaaaaybe push for Turks and Caicos to become part of Canada. ;)
I may never be able to go anywhere, but I think that dreaming is vital. Hope is vital. Goals are vital. So I have a new amazing list to replace my former one.