Meant to Be

Do you ever feel like you were just MEANT to be so many varying things that there would never have been a lifetime long enough to be everything??

When I was young I was into everything.

Music
• piano lessons
• voice lessons
• theory lessons
• band (trombone)
• musical theatre

Athletics
• badminton
• volleyball
• basketball
• cross country
• track and field
         - long jump
         - triple jump
         - 100m
         - 200m
         - 400m
         - high jump
         - shotput
         - discus
         - javelin
         - hurdles
• softball
• kayaking
• sailing
• golf
• snowboarding
• gymnastics

Dance
• ballet
• hip hop
• breakdancing
• tap dancing

Writing
• non-fiction narrative
• poetry
• short stories
• essays
• research projects

I remember practicing and practicing and practicing everything. I went to regional competitons, provincial competitions, I was in summer camps, I won awards, I won hoardes of categories in Kiwanis festivals, I travelled with teams in international tournaments. I was IN it. All of it. I wanted to be a professional everything. I wanted to be the girl singing the national anthem for an international competition and then stepping out on the court. I wanted to be on stage performing opera and musical theatre and jazz and hard rock. I wanted to be in the Summer AND Winter Olympics - gymnastics and snowboarding and track and volleyball and rowing and ski jumping and ski aerials. I wanted to be an Olympian of everything. Not to beat everyone else - but because I wanted to master everything. I wanted to be an expert in every field imaginable - academics, literary arts, music, athletics, everything.

As I got older, I streamlined my focus, but still had a hundred different roads I wanted to take all at once.
I wanted to be a professional - a CEO of a specialized company, I wanted to be a famous dancer, a famous athlete, a famous singer/performer, I wrote music, I released two cds, I wanted two Masters degrees and a Ph.D., I wanted to research, to learn, to be a full-time career student, while playing concerts all over the world. I wanted the full-ride scholarship for a Masters degree because of my volleyball only to take sabbaticals to go on tour. I wanted to volunteer and be a Musical Therapist for the Children's Hospitals around the world and specifically work with terminal kids. I wanted to write and become published and be a famous writer. I wanted my music to get noticed and, at the very least, become a one-hit-wonder.

Now, my goals are growing smaller, but they are still too big for me to ever fulfill. I want to learn more languages and travel for a living. I want to provide background music and vocals, I want to go back to school, I still want to do a Masters degree and research. I want to be famous for my voice, for my art, for my writing, for my poetry, and for my strength. I want to be an inspiration and a source of motivation. I want to go to culinary school. I want to study history, learn how to draw. I want to get published. I want to write several books. I want to kayak every weekend, I want to build a library, I want to get my grade 7 & 8 Royal Conservatory for piano, I want to sing in an opera, I want to release another cd. I want to become an inspirational yogi who travels the world. I want to meet everyone and understand various languages. I want to build and library and host sophisticated literary book clubs and discuss existential crises with groups of people. I want to spend every week in the mountains writing and reading and kayaking and hiking. I want to go sailing and skiing and snowboarding.
I want to do everything.
I want to learn everything.
I want to improve upon everything I already love.

I love having goals.
The only issue is that my goals become bigger than anyone could really do in a lifetime. Sometimes I become overwhelmed with wanting to do and be so many different things... there are so many roads I would love to take. There are so many roads that were opened up to me. I could have done any one of those things at any point in time.... and I love what I have already done.
I may never fulfill all of those amazing goals, but I am proud of what I have accomplished, and I am grateful to live the life I lead, even if I had to wave goodbye to most of those grandiose paths.

None of the above would have ever fulfilled me more than experiencing love and support. Those are the two most important pieces in my life. It is amazing to me that I can look back at all of the avenues I wanted to take, and still be blissfully happy with where I am at - despite illness and pain and physical limitations.
Love.
Support.

Build your goals around those two concepts and you will never be truly disappointed in the life you have led.