Alright - this is a BRAND NEW symptom for me.
I have had chronic, constant, diarrhea for almost 18 years. 10 or more times a day, stuck in the washroom for half of my day, never ceasing. I mean, I have had the odd weird bathroom break without it, but maybe 10 times in those 18 years.
Over the past week, though, I have experienced the exact opposite. I hate it. I have grown so used to the other side of things that anything more solid feels gross. I feel yucky. Bloated. Extra nauseated. Going to the washroom 6 or 7 times instead of 10-15. It makes me feel disgusting. I know that 'real' constipation can have people missing a bowel movement for days, but this feels awful to me.
While it is common to go from one extreme to the other with Crohn's Disease, I have never experienced this side of it, until now. I am unsure of whether or not this is just my Crohn's acting up, or whether it is a sign that my Crohn's is settling down. I do not want to use the R word in case I jinx it. And really, even if I go into R, most people retain a list of unpleasant symptoms, so I am cautiously optimistic here. It is also sporadic - for most of the day I feel constipated, but then I'll have 3 or 4 episodes of 'my normal'. So who knows? Luckily, it does not feel like a blockage, even though I am experiencing lots of cramping. So that's good news too.
The Lighter Side of: Constipation is that it *could* be a sign of the ever elusive R word. It ALSO means that I may be absorbing MUCH MORE of my nutritional intake. This is good and bad, but mostly good.
I just wish it didn't feel so terrible.
On another note:
I have no clue why this is happening. I honestly believe that, if it is a sign of temporary healing, it has nothing to do with anything I have done. I simply think these diseases often have their own schedule and 'remedies' to induce R either help it along or are simply coincidental.
I *could* try and make others believe it is because of foods I have been eating lately that is out of my norm (like chocolate mousse, cookies, and rice krispies squares).?? I *could* say it is from a mixture of nectarines and yogurt.?? I *could* insinuate that it is because I have been practicing more yoga.??
I cannot be dishonest or mislead people though. If my symptoms are improving, it is because my disease has decided to give me a break, not because of some new magic fad diet or magic activity. If it WAS because of what I am eating or what activity I engage in, then I should have *healed* a hundred times over by now.
If this is my new normal, it will take me a while to get accustomed to.
Happy Tuesday!
