Today I had a dental appointment, which is always so much more of a production than it should be.
Because of the awful pain I get from red, swollen gums, plus cavities and sensitivities, I need extra medication.
Because dental work is the most common trigger for throat episodes of angioedema, I am supposed to be sedated for any dental work.
Because of my complicated history, I have to be constantly monitored for allergies, blood pressure drops, or heart rate changes.
I had to have three fillings done, which turned into four because a previous filling was coming loose.
I have had these medications and sedatives before. This is not a new procedure, but it is unnerving. And, because it has already been one hell of a week, I had a mild reaction to the sedative. My chest immediately got red and blotchy and full of tiny little hives. So we turned it off for a while, then put it on the lowest setting. By this time I was already freaking out, worrying about a more severe reaction, wanting to puke, and trying to tough through the appointment.
So I laid there, tense, shaking, with heart palpitations, a migraine from all of the drilling, and tearing from both pain and anxiety.
At least the doctor and nurses and hygienists were absolutely incredible. Apart from the stress from the procedure itself, I knew that I was safe and that they were paying close attention.
No huge swelling episode has happened. My stomach continues to have that burning feeling - which I am sure is from nothing other than withdrawal - and my missing medication is taking a toll on me, but all of that should be solved by tomorrow afternoon.
My next steps are booking more appointments, looking for a new team to discuss surgery, increase my pain medication to a more tolerable level, and try to pull it together for the holidays (which, I admit, has been fairly difficult).
I feel bad for my boyfriend. Every little thing is making me tear up and sob since the fiasco about the surgery being taken off the table with these specific surgeons. It may take a few days, or even weeks, to snap out of it.
Tomorrow I get my medication AND I get to sing - so tomorrow is a step in the right direction.
If you would like to hear some live holiday music, head to YYC Airport for YYC'S Holiday Music Program. I will be on stage from 4-6, and several other artists will be performing over the next two weeks.