This weekend is dedicated to our Marriage Preparation Course.
Overall it has been pretty good. Lots of exercises within the booklet and lots of general discussion on how we each view each other and the relationship.
We still have a few hours this afternoon and then a few more hours tomorrow yet.
There are a few topics of discussion that have been a little personally difficult. The main topic has, quite expectedly, been about the idea of children. I try not to take these things to heart since we are in a very unique situation, but hearing how intimacy can become that much more meaningful and profound with the possibility of experiencing the miracle and the blessing of conception is a little difficult. Especially hearing them say how contraception can seem to take away from the depth of that love and intimacy.
Always a little difficult to hear, but also not unexpected.
Actually, the more surprising part is almost giving up on something that was such a MAJOR and significant part of my identity.
We had to circle or check off descriptions of our spouse - which descriptions fit for who our spouse is. We do this separately then discuss together.
The one that surprised me was that the word "Athlete" was not chosen to describe me.
Of course, it's true at this juncture, and he never knew me when I was still an athlete. For me though, being an athlete took up, approximately, 80% of my identity - of who I was. So to see that the person who knows me the most, the person I am absolutely closest to, has never known me as an athlete, and does not consider me to be an athlete, despite the athletic mentality, disposition, and previous talent, was pretty jarring.
These two topics were a large chunk of the focus this morning - which had me choking back tears for hours.
Safe to say, there is nothing I can do to change this, but I was pretty gutted seeing that lack of description.
There were many other descriptions that I was pleasantly surprised about and that is what I am going to focus on, but it is hard to completely ignore such a different view.