One thing about bring chronically ill that many people won't even think to mention is how often doctors will see you.
All of you.
This is especially true for sufferers of bathroom diseases, or any disease that affects the nether-regions.
At first it's all about learning how to get dressed and undressed as quickly as possible, jumping to get under that paper sheet, and mastering the art of bearing only what is necessary, while holding a sheet or gown strategically so that no other parts of you is exposed.
You know, shame, and covering it.
Let me just say that, after 18 years of chronic illness and incessant appointments with doctors, I am much less shy.
Today I had an appointment with my dermatologist. While my Psoriasis is remarkably stable, I did want to ask her about the excessive bruising I have been experiencing. Of course, before I saw her, I had conversations with a couple of students and fellows. (I am a teaching case in most instances and it is very normal to see students before specialists). These men were kind, gracious, and young.
I mentioned the bruising to them and they asked if I had any bruising I could show them. So I stood up and dropped my pants to show my legs. They both looked a little surprised (and one looked quite uncomfortable - especially since my husband was in the room), but then they immediately began analyzing my legs.
Hubby thought it was hilarious.
Then, when my specialist joined us, she did a full skin check since it has been a few years. She was concerned with keeping me covered, but I really wasn't. I mean, students have to see what she is checking for at some point right?
Anyways - dropping my pants was a comical highlight of the appointment.
I honestly could never manage to count the number of health professionals who have witnessed me bear it all - for colonoscopies, physicals, imaging, emergency services, EMT services, porters, doctors, nurses, physiotherapists, procedures, sometimes entire waiting rooms in severe cases.
The truth is - they see human bodies each day. As my husband put it, I am essentially just another 'specimen' to examine. And other times - those awfully terrifying times - you are just too damn ill to give a crap who manages to catch a glimpse.
Humility takes a back seat when things are going wrong.
#keepyourpantson