Sometimes You Just Have to Laugh About It

I've been struggling lately with some very annoying (and often mildly-moderately painful) symptoms since coming off of a medication. 

I am off of this medication not because it doesn't work, but because there is a question as to WHY it's working, and trying to find the root cause of the symptoms. And part of trying to find the root cause of a set of symptoms requires actually being symptomatic as we are investigating. So if I take the medication, then the symptoms aren't apparent, which makes it hard to investigate. 

So I am currently, and willingly (mostly), symptomatic - to help find out what is really wrong with me. (Goddamn chronic illness is so extra complicated!!!) 

So - I am off of this medication. 

This means that my symptoms are much more pronounced AND much more frequent. One of the many symptoms that I get is swelling. Some of this swelling looks like bloating, but has an entirely different quality to it. Some doctors say that it feels like marshmallow skin (like the Staypuft Marshmallow Man!), some say it's like I've turned into a water balloon that's been overfilled, but there is one very important consensus - it is not normal. It is not normal for regular run-of-the-mill bloating. It is not normal for swelling related to hormones. It is not normal for extra gas in the intestines. It is not normal for leaky blood vessels that are leaking water into my tissues. It is not normal for swelling related to Diabetes (which I do not have, but have been tested for in the past, just in case). Doctors and Specialists are all stumped. 

But one very clear response is that when it happens in my abdomen specifically, I often look pregnant!! 

So this weekend, when this happened, a friend took a picture of me standing as if I am giving a pregnancy announcement, by a sculpture we imagined to be a fertility idol. We laughed about how funny it would be, showing this photo, and claiming that some sculpture created this miraculous conception (which is impossible because I no longer have the organs necessary for such a thing). 

So here is my faux pregnancy photo - making fun of my crazy body and laughing about these insane symptoms, instead of feeling too stressed, overwhelmed, or angry. 

Sometimes you just have to laugh about it - because what else are you going to do?