- You have the phone numbers, cell phone numbers, and emails of your specialists and their nurses. And you send and receive text messages from your doctors.
- You have a Costco membership solely for the company's toilet paper.
- You are a ninja when it comes to undressing and then redressing.
- Emergency Room staff knows you by name.
- Your chart is so thick that it could actually crush and kill a human being.
- You are a 'teaching patient' because your case is so complicated and intriguing.
- Your list of medications and allergies/intolerances to medications is so long that in your chart it simply reads "see original form".
- You have no shame and no problem being naked in front of any doctor.
- You know your health care number off by heart.
- You have a routine and are always prepared for a trip to the Emergency Room.
- You know all of the different sounds your digestive system makes and can differentiate between them and what they are caused by.
- You also know the medical term for stomach rumblings. "Borborygmus".
- You know the pharmaceutical name and brand name of all of the medications you are taking.
- You actually read the medication information leaflets.
- All of your collected business cards are health care related cards.
- You know which veins are uncooperative, scarred, good, or completely inaccessible.
- You have mastered the notion of 'hurry up and wait'.
- You always have an exit strategy for social events.
- You have a habit of downplaying how awful you feel.
- When your friends make plans out of town, they always mention how far the nearest hospital is.
- You wear at least one medic-alert bracelet.
- Most of your emails come from charity organizations that pertain to you and your health.
- Doctors have read your chart and have mistaken you for someone elderly.
- You have been told a thousand times what to eat in order to feel better.
- You become irked by television shows or movies that include health problems but don't use correct terminology or healthcare practices.
- You rate everything based on a pain scale.
- Waiting 3-6 months for an appointment with a specialist is expected.
- You have specific cab company and even a specific cab driver who you trust and use to go to and/or from appointments if you cannot drive.
- You can never actually only use a small clutch. You always have to have your EpiPen, extra medication, medical information list, and healthcare card on you.
- every single plan you make is tentative and dependent on your body.
- you have a list of items and a bag at the ready for any trip to the hospital.
- you know which hospitals have the best ER wait times, nurses, and doctors.
- all of the pharmacists where you pick up your medications know exactly who you are before they even look at your chart.
- every single plan you make is tentative and dependent on your body.
- you have a list of items and a bag at the ready for any trip to the hospital.
- you know which hospitals have the best ER wait times, nurses, and doctors.
- all of the pharmacists where you pick up your medications know exactly who you are before they even look at your chart.