Today I had a pretty brutal dental appointment.
Luckily for me, I have an incredible hygienist who is not only gentle with my teeth, but who I consider to be one of the kindest people I know. She is bubbly and understanding and gives me credit for doing absolutely everything I can at home to protect my teeth. She has said nearly every time I go in there that the issues with my teeth and gums have nothing to do with my home care. It is clear that the inflammation and the cavities and the pain and redness and swelling and tenderness is primarily due to medications and illness.
Sometimes the appointments are only mildly painful. Sometimes I wind up in the emergency room with a throat swell because of the stress (usually paired with a medication). Sometimes we chat through the entire appointment, sharing one story after another.
Not today.
For some background, my at-home regimen is super specific. Brushing and flossing several times a day - with a special toothbrush and special mouthwash, brushing with hot water (and sometimes salt), slowly for about 10 minutes making sure to get every single nook and cranny. Then an extra special mouthwash a few times a week to help build my enamel. And now I am looking into one of those at-home water-picks.
Today started off great and chatty as usual. As she is putting the towel around my neck she was asking all about the wedding.
Then she took a quick look at my gums and her expression just dropped.
She knew this would be a tough appointment.
'It's just the dentist. Seriously everybody is uncomfortable at the dentist'
'It can't be that bad. You're just being a baby'.
She tried using the water pick for a while to take care of the worst parts.
Let me quickly remind the people at home reading this. I have had full colonoscopies with multiple biopsies done without ANY sedation whatsoever. I have had an NG tube stuck up my nose then curved down to my stomach. I have had nearly fatal stomach bleeds, nearly fatal Pancreatitis multiple times. I have had two major abdominal surgeries and a full hysterectomy. I have torn my quad muscles, my hamstrings, and have cracked my ribs a dozen times or more. I deal with chronic migraines, deep joint and bone pain, and have had needles shoved into the cavity space in my SI Joint in between my pelvic bone.
Trust me when I say that I know what various types of pain are.
Maybe teeth just bother me more. Maybe I am truly more sensitive with my teeth. But dentist appointments aren't just uncomfortable for me most of the time. They can be brutal.
Today was one of those days.
Every 30 seconds she was wiping blood off of my teeth (I know because I was literally counting the seconds), I was focusing primarily on continuing breathing deeply and on the words floating on the television screen. I tried to transport my mind but I wasn't entirely successful.
At one point I even had to ask to stop for a minute while I wiped away silent tears. Then took a big breath as she continued scaling.
Lucky for me, polishing does not seem to bother me much. Once polishing was done, I was ready to endure a little more pain for the flossing. I thought - may as well get it over with all in one appointment. I'm already here. I'm already crying. Let's just go.
Afterwards I put on makeup where my tears had removed it, chatted a little bit, then paid for the portion of the appointment that wasn't covered (salt in the wound), then went back home.
To improve my mood, I took Decker to the grassy (snow covered) area behind our home and then Rj and I ordered in and I baked dessert.
