Fatigue

Fatigue is most often a symptom or a by-product of an illness. It is not well understood, it is not well-described, and is often serious enough to be considered a disease all on its own.

It is not laziness, it is not depression, it is not a sign of giving up. It is not something you can just snap out of.
It is an all-encompassing feeling that overtakes the most determined and motivated individuals.

So what is fatigue and why does it happen?

The Oxford English Dictionary defines fatigue as:

"Extreme tiredness resulting from mental or physical exertion or illness."

The Mayo Clinic website describes the medical definition of fatigue as:

"Unrelenting exhaustion, [compared with fatigue from physical exertion], lasts longer, is more profound and isn't relieved by rest. It's a nearly constant state of weariness that develops over time and reduces your energy, motivation and concentration. Fatigue at this level impacts your emotional and psychological well-being, too."

No matter how much rest and sleep you have, this kind of fatigue remains. It sticks to you like static. 'Unrelenting weariness'.

Fatigue is considered to be misunderstood - severe fatigue is often described as having no cause.
In my opinion, the cause may not be known, but there is one. A microscopic onw.

Every cell in my body is fighting. All of my cells are engaging in a life-long war, full of several separate battles happening all at once.... and just because the battles are spread out among different areas, my entire being is affected.
My dysfunctional immune system is fighting imaginary enemies and are destroying my organs in the process. Microscopic grenades are creating lesions in my intestines, fires are breaking out all over my pelvic area, and the use of bazookas has put holes in my vision. Every inch of my very personal little world is being ravaged by war - and I get to feel every single battle as they escalate or slow down.... whether they are beaten back, or whether they push forward and begin battling in a new area.

My best defense is to cut off their resources. That is what Methotrexate does. That is what biologic medications are supposed to do. They reduce the amount of warriors they have.
Unfortunately, it also reduces my ability to fight off foreign invaders, but since my own warriors have turned against me, it is a risk I have to take.

So many battles, so much constant destruction, so much energy and effort to continue fighting 100% of the time.

It is no wonder I am fatigued!