Forcing yourself to rest when all you want to do is a whole bunch of things is way more difficult than it sounds. It is like dieting when you are on Prednisone and feel like you are starving all the time. It is like sitting on the sidelines and watching your team lose when you know that you can help. Like sitting out with a small injury, like a pulled muscle or even a muscle cramp, when all you want to do is get out there.
The issue with so many invisible diseases is that you always know it is there, it is always threatening to strike, and yet if it does not feel totally awful, there is a tendency to do more than you should and really crash.
I just had a recent crash - a bad one. I have also been struggling to gain any strength after running myself ragged for about a week. My hubby is working on some things that I was hoping to help with. The dogs need to expend some energy and I would love to run with them, walk with them, wrestle with them. I was hoping to make crêpes this morning, to practice yoga, to paint, to sing, to put a load of laundry in, to work on the Fight the Fusion fundraiser.
Instead, I am sitting on the couch watching tv.
Last night I had an odd moment.
Well, several moments.
My body essentially stopped me in my tracks. It was a big red flashing sign saying "STOP or you will have to go to the hospital". I was weak, horribly shaky, faint, and exhausted.
So I stopped. I stopped and took care of myself, and today seems better, but not great.
So I am sitting here, watching tv, when I want to be helping. When I would rather be baking or painting or doing anything BUT sitting on the couch watching tv.
Forced rest.
My body needs it, so I am obliging.
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