I Love My Dysfunctional Body

My dysfunctional body has been through what feels like hell and back. It goes back and forth between good days and bad - every morning figuring out if it will be a good or bad day. These days are relative, of course. My worst days are someone else's best days, and my best days are another's worst days. 

This is the only body I've got, and no matter how disruptive it gets, I never wish to be in another body. I often wish that certain symptoms of this body improve, but I still cherish the one that I am in. 

This body has scars, it has stretch marks, it has gone up and down in weight, in function, has wreaked havoc on my internal systems, and has caused some of the most unbearable pain I have experienced. 

This body is missing several organs (large intestine, appendix, gallbladder, uterus, & both ovaries), it has endured a temporary ileostomy, currently has an internal pouch created with the end of the small intestine, and is overrun with inflammation. 

The simplest parts of life can be extremely painful: eating is painful, walking is painful, sleeping, sitting, standing, going to the washroom, being intimate, showering, and (at times) even breathing is painful. My body has required emergency care over the simplest of activities. 

Yet, I love my dysfunctional body. 

I love how much it has been able to endure and that it has given me the opportunity to be both active and still. It has taken me to Italy, Spain, France, Ireland, England, Portugal, Mexico, U.S.A., and many parts of Canada (long before developing Ankylosing Spondylitis). 

It has fought through moments I could not have previously imagined. 

My body is far from perfect - functionally & visibly - but it is mine. It is the only one I have and I am lucky to have it. 

I may have to answer to how well or poorly my body functions on different days, I may not have a say in which plans I have to cancel because my body decides to be temperamental, and I may not be able to prevent further internal damage done by my own mutinous immune system, but it still gets through more situations and more trauma than I thought possible.