Last night we got to go shopping!!!
Rj had to essentially replace his dress shirr wardrobe, so we went to the largest outlet mall just north of the city.
Normally, shopping would consist of going to two stores with my cane (if I was lucky), severe joint pain and exhaustion, and that would take about two hours to accomplish. The days when I would not need a cane, I could usually do 3 or maybe even 4 stores, but either way it would take an unprecedented amount of time, including several breaks, visits to the bathroom, and sometimes even vomiting. Over the last few years I have avoided 'mall shopping' as much as possible. If I really needed to shop, most of the time I did it online, or I visited stand-alone stores.
Going to a mall or visiting a bunch of stores isn't about the shopping itself. Let's face it, it's not like I have a lot of expendable cash sitting around. It's about being out, window-shopping, enjoying a smoothie or Julius while people watching, and just being out in general.
Going shopping with and for other people is even more enjoyable. You get all the highs of shopping and spending money - but it's someone else's money, and you get to visit and chat the whole time.
Other big places have even better date opportunities. Rj and I would love going to Home and Garden shows, the Zoo, Heritage Park, even just a jaunt through a park. But we haven't really been able to do that. We went to one Home and Garden show... I managed to get through two rows before completely crashing. Then, the fallout can last for weeks, so I can't even do the regular daily chores and enjoyments in the home - for days to weeks on end.
We needed something.
I needed a little more help.
I have a walker, but we both found that by the time I really needed a walker, I couldn't even do that anymore. I needed a total rest and a crash.
This year for Stampede, I was feeling even more weak, and the idea of walking around the grounds felt dangerous. It was too much of a risk. So I asked if they rented wheelchairs somewhere on the grounds... and they do!
Not only did I get to be on the grounds, but I got to enjoy All of the grounds. I got to see everything on the grounds (okay no rides and no rodeo) - all of the food and animals and little stores.
So came the idea of actually owning a wheelchair.
Well this week I have a demo wheelchair to try out and I am doing everything I can to really test it out. It means adjusting it, testing out all of the features, and using it more than I need to. It means loading it in and out of the car, removing and putting on the wheels, self-propelling, foot-propelling, and being pushed.
So - shopping!
Although it does take a certain level of energy, it is a different kind of energy. It uses my arm strength but does not flare up the arthritis in my shoulder blades. It allows me to work out my legs (by foot propelling) without flaring up the arthritis in my hips. It allows me to increase the strength in muscles I have not been able to use as much. So it SAVES my overall energy, SAVES me some pain, and even gives me a workout. Plus, when I DO get too tired and need a break, Rj was there to push me. We had to do that within the first three stores, but with the breaks and not trying to walk an entire mall, I was in a lot less pain.
On one hand, it's terrifying to know how much I have been needing more help with getting around and feeling a little bit 'normal'. On the other hand, I feel like I have a little more freedom.
A trip around a mall - even with a wheelchair - is still going to have a fallout. However, the fallout is not as severe. It doesn't make me automatically want to avoid it again. It makes me want to go to the zoo.
Seriously.
I miss the zoo!!
There are so many places I have been avoiding because I could never walk the length of it.... now, when we buy a wheelchair, I could maybe go to the zoo once a year. Or to half of a football game.
Because I am lucky enough to still be able to walk, because I am lucky enough not to require a chair full-time, a wheelchair seems more like freedom and a choice... less tragic.
By all means I definitely cry about how much I have been needing one at 32 years old... but I can do more if I use a chair.
So it became a choice:
Do I avoid all sorts of social engagements because I cannot walk very well or very far, or do I relent and use a wheelchair so that I can leave the house and do more?
Time for a wheelchair.
Whatever makes life a little easier right? Whatever helps save me a little pain and a little energy, right?
Ooh and P.S. - I found gloves that work really well so that my hands don't hurt from wheeling myself around! 💚
