Skipping Out on Bloodwork

My energy has been pretty depleted as of late, so I am able to do less and less during the day before my body decides it's enough. 

Sometimes I push straight through anyways, but for the most part I have had to rest. This means that our youngest pup has been a bit bored and acting out. I don't blame him. I feel awful about it. He still gets tons of play time in the house and cuddles and hasn't had to stay in his kennel through the night in weeks, but he has been bored, which is our fault. 

Today I woke up with a medium level of energy. What I mean by that is that I can do one fairly big activity. One thing today that depletes my energy further, and then the remainder of the day will be spent resting. 

Technically, I should have gone to get bloodwork done. I have a few appointments next week and updated bloodwork would be nice. Not mandated, but nice. BUT I felt far more guilty about our pups, so I decided to take them for a short walk instead. 

I couldn't do both activities, so I chose the one that would make my heart happier. 

Plus, I still have the opportunity to potentially get bloodwork done on Tuesday, so that's the tentative plan. 

So I played hooky on bloodwork to hang out with my dogs and ensure they are well-exercised and played-out today. 

I think I made the right choice. 

Remembering the Mountaintop

I used to do quite a bit of hiking when I was younger.
Nothing major.
Just little hikes. Smaller mountains.
I once did a 14km hike up a bigger trail when I was horrendously ill - and was so proud of what I had accomplished - but I stuck mostly with smaller trails.
Ones with incredible views of lakes, towns, or waterfalls.
I flourished in that mountain air, eating GORP at the top and watching the chipmunks run around.

I loved every single moment. Even the tougher moments when I though I might pass out.

I never really thought about what would happen if I couldn't really hike anymore. I always thought I would hike several times every summer until I was over 80 years old.
I mean, I don't KNOW that I can't manage a hike. I know that my hips cannot handle a walk of a block... and that stairs are difficult... but I think if I really put my mind to it and convinced myself it would be worth the eventual hospital trip and several weeks to recuperate, I could do it.
Just like our wedding day.
I was terrified that I would not even make it to our reception. Hell I was terrified I would not be able to physically handle the ceremony - and it was difficult but SO worth it.
So maybe a mountain (a small trail) would be possible. It would take out at least 2 months for recuperation... but I already have several walking sticks. I could take my injections up there with me should I require them. We could bring tents and a sleeping bag if I couldn't make it down from sheer exhaustion.
Maybe I could manage a little hike. After building up to it.
Maybe.

Or maybe my hiking days are entirely behind me. Maybe they are back there where my volleyball and softball days are. Where my running days and my ability to walk for hours and hours all day are.

I wonder if I would have done anything different though, on those mountaintops that I cherished so much. Would I have taken twice as many photos? Would I have stayed at the top longer and really take in that view more?
I don't think so. I think I took in every single breath that I could - breathing in every single moment.
All I hope is that I remember that feeling.
If I can never manage a hike like I used to, I want to remember exactly how it felt to sit on the top of a mountain and just exist there, feeling accomplished and exhilarated and grateful to experience something so beautiful.

Man I need to get back out into the mountains. Even if I cannot hike, the drive alone would do me some good!

The Wobble Strut

Yesterday I had to go to the grocery store for a few essentials.
Overall I was doing fairly well, and wanted to just get in and get out, so I went without my cane.

Well that was a mistake. :S
Whoops.

Pretty quickly, even leaning on a cart, my SI joints were complaining, loudly.

Every time I tried to walk normally - evenly and in a straight line - I would get a shooting pain in my back and hips and it would jolt me off balance.

Step, step, twitch, twinge, step, stumble, step, step.

I wound up looking like how a person walks in their first set of stilettos.
Except I was in flip flops.

I guess I should have worn heels... then at least people would simply think I'm clumsy, rather than looking like a girl trying to strut and failing miserably.

The Ankylosing Spondylitis strut.

Snow Day!!!

The snow is piled up in mounds that are as high as 7ft in between the houses and driveways and on the front and back lawns, and the weather today is warm!! (Okay maybe not 'warm' but only a few degrees less than 0°...).
With nothing pressing to do over the next couple of days, we decided to go on a short family walk - the two of us and Dex our pup.
Decker loves to catch snowballs and run around in the snow, so we made it to the big open space behind our place to have some fun. Decker donned his flannel vest and his 20ft leash so we could just have a bunch of fun in the snow. Even Ryan and I both wound up covered head to toe and lying in it.
Of course, trying to trudge in snow coming up above the knees is tiring! Decker was fully leaping to try and make it through all of it, and we are all absolutely pooped. Of course I wanted a walk, and I wanted to push myself because I want to build up strength, but holy man am I ever going to be sore tomorrow! I also might need a nap today.
The walk was short but was also tough.
Glad we could take advantage of the nicer weather, the snow mounds, and the perfect consistency for snowball fights.

Great day - however tiring and painful.

Trading Heels for Sneakers

It has been a LOOOOONG time since I have owned these kinds of sneakers - until now. Running shoes and athletic sneakers have always been a part of my shoe collection, cleats, dance shoes, indoor court shoes, running shoes, etc... but actual sneakers left my wardrobe by the end of high school. I had traded in all of my tomboy Vans and wide sneakers with coloured laces for heels and dresses and open-toed fancy sandals....

Now, with the persistence and progression of my Ankylosing Spondylitis, the SI joint pain, my hips consistently being out of alignment, I am wearing heels less and less often.
Until now, it was either heels, pointed-toe flats, dress boots, or ug-ly boots during the winter. Sometimes you need something casual, but not ugly.
Enter the sneaker.
The simple laced-up cheap sneaker and a pair of cute maroon-y-pink high-tops. This is a definite fashion switch for me, but I need to realize that I just can't walk in heels as much. I need to be more careful and trade in my heels for cute little sneakers. (I'm just super excited that there are such a variety of options for pink and purple and sparkly-loving people like me!!!).

It will also benefit me because I am hoping to push myself to walk a little more, maybe even hike a little bit (of course usually still with my cane - my awesome cute canes). Try and build up some leg strength, keep my joints moving, but comfortably.

So - taking the 'step' to giveaway a few pairs of heels and replace them with sneakers was a little sad, but also exciting. A new venture. A new style. A new way to help myself pain-wise. It doesn't feel as much like 'giving up' or 'giving things away' this way.