Yoga for Instagram

My activities over the past few years have dwindled to a few. Trust me, I am ecstatic that I can still paddle and practice yoga, but those are my main sources of exercise. 

This blog and how I share this blog has a lot to do with Instagram. On IG, though, sharing pictures is the main focus, so I share photos of me practicing yoga. 

Now, before you turn away all eye-roll-like, my yoga photos are not what you would picture on the 'gram. I do not have a professional camera, for one. What I do have is a smart-phone with a fairly impressive camera. 

I do not take photos of every single time I practice yoga. I take photos every couple of weeks, and then share one photo a day. It isn't some glamorous event... I usually fiddle with trying to find decent lighting, pick out an outfit that allows me to practice comfortably while getting some decent shots, and then propping my phone up on a book, a shelf, or on board games teetering on a shelf trying to get the best vantage point. It is all a little bit ridiculous. 

The best part, though, is the actual taking of the photos. See, my phone sits on a shelf, pointed at my yoga mat while I practice. I use a voice command to take these photos... which means that I practice yoga and randomly shout "CAPTURE" or "SMILE" when I have reached the calm moment in a pose. Of course, it doesn't work every single time, so you might hear me shout the same word over and over trying to catch a picture before I become too flustered and move out of a particular pose.... which was meant to provide some serenity. 

Which is partially contradictory... to give up the calm to try and capture a photo.... 

But that is also precisely why I never shoot video of my practice. I need those privately calm moments, without the camera. 

Yoga is for me... although when I am stressing about getting decent photos, it doesn't always feel that way. Trying to take these photos, however, does provide me with some much-needed motivation and structure. When I feel especially ill, yoga is the last thing I want to do. For instance, for the past 2 weeks, even leaving the bedroom has been a major difficulty. My energy levels and overall flare-up has had me on non-stop resting mode. Yoga can actually help me during these times if it doesn't deplete my energy to irreversible levels. Knowing that I was running out of pictures helped motivate me to practice even when I was not feeling entirely up to it. 

Alright, anyways, what's more is that I do not have this picture-perfect practice. I am not a yoga instructor. I do not attend yoga classes anymore. I practice at home. Some of the most basic poses are far too painful for my body. Even transitioning between poses is less of a 'flow' and more of a 'stop-and-start' with jerky, unbalanced, often comical movements. 

There are lots of photos I do not share - photos where I lose my balance, where I am just lying on the floor waiting for my body to allow me enough energy to continue, and even photos where I think I am perfectly in a pose but really I am not even close. 

I find this mostly when I 'think' my back is straight or even arched. Trying to get into Crescent pose is highly difficult and even painful most of the time. I still gently try - because I want to keep my spine strong and as flexible as possible - but the photos themselves show a very subpar level of practice. Downward Dog is another pose I rarely even attempt anymore because of my shoulder blade pain, but as you can see below, I am not even close to getting it right. I even went on my tippy-toes with partially bent knees in an attempt to help me straighten out my back. 

The saddest part is that I thought I had it. 

Nope. 

Still a curved spine. 

Now, logically I know that my spine curvature at the top is the progression of the disease (Ankylosing Spondylitis), but I still seem to hold out hope that I can stretch my way back to a better posture. 

I might be out to lunch. 

Yoga on Instagram often looks poised, serene, relaxed, mixed with perfect photography skills. 

Not on my page. 

My page is filled with repeating poses, attempts at halfway decent photos, and an entire array of silent moments off the screen that make up the bulk of my personal practice. 

Here are some of the misfit poses and photos that I rarely share - to show that the 'gram only shows a small fraction of what is really behind the scenes.

Yoga is supposed to be an intensely personal experience. My practice is tailored to my specific needs and level of strength and flexibility. I am always working on improving my skills without causing more pain. I have SO much I need to work on - breath, flexibility, strength, technique, meditation, etc... - but it is a practice all my very own. No matter what, that is a beautiful thing and I am happy to share my imperfect practice.  

Peddling Products

Have you ever received a random message that you instinctively knew was going to end up pissing you off?

The other day I was on Instagram, posting yoga poses and blog posts and everything illness-related, when I received a message from an account that I follow.

"Hi Karissa!
You usually sit longer than 4 hours every single day don't you? 樂"

Now, people sell everything online. They peddle products and offer help and solutions and promote themselves - that is what business IG accounts are intended to do. Something about this rubbed me the wrong way. Somehow, I knew that what was coming next was some generalization about how sitting for that long is contributing to poor health.
I also understand that this person likely did a quick search to find that, statistically, the vast majority of people sit for approximately 4 hours each day. So he/she is taking a statistic that would apply to a large percentage of the people on instagram, and that they could just send out a mass text and catch a few people who go 'omg I do sit for that long! Is that bad? What can I do about it?'.

But, I've had a couple of not-so-great days. I've also been getting really sick of the initial sales tactic to insult someone's way of life and then offering solutions - without actually reading anything about the customer they are peddling to.

A few weeks ago I had someone ask if I had digestive issues (bahaha) and then offer their full line of probiotics. Well.. probiotics are meant primarily for the large intestine... which (if you've been at all paying attention) I no longer have.

Anyways.
So my response was:
"Don't most people?"
And then, not wanting to be entirely dismissive (maybe they HAVE read my blog or looked at photos. Maybe they are going to ask a question about Ankylosing Spondylitis. Maybe they won't automatically assume that I am fully capable of staying active over 20 hours per day). So I then added: "Why do you ask?"
(Yep. That was a mistake).

Then I got this message:

" Long sitting is really bad for your Health and your Posture
I have an Ebook for improving this both. And you can practice it when you’re in break time 
It’s really good and it’s all free for you!! 
Do you want to get it?"

Ohhhhhhh boy.
Now I am legitimately pissed.
It's not like I WANT to be sitting for more than 4 hours a day. It's not like I have chosen to have mobility issues. And I sincerely hope this person hasn't been idiotic enough to send this to someone who is fully bound to a wheelchair.
What upset me the most is not that she used an insult to offer a product - free or not, or that she used the 'hmmm' emoji in a condescending manner (or what I perceived to be condescending), but that - on my Instagram account - only 7 photos down is a very clear photo of me in a wheelchair. 
So I kiiiinda ripped into this person.

I said: "Well if I wasn't using a wheelchair half the time and didn't have 13 illnesses that force me to lie down the vast majority of the day I wouldn't be sitting so much. Ankylosing Spondylitis is, in fact, why my spine is permanently curved inward. I understand that people have all sorts of products to sell and great ideas on improving health for the average person, but if you had spent five minutes actually looking at my profile before using an insult to peddle a product (free or otherwise), you would have seen me in a wheelchair."

Too harsh?
Not harsh enough?

Anyways - then I unfollowed the account.

On the plus side - one of our neighbours has a brand new puppy that I got to visit with. His name is Baloo and he tried to steal my cane because it looks like a stick hehe. The little Bernese very literally got my cane in his mouth and tried to take off. Cutest little thing.
Puppies always help calm me down. I am very much looking forward to getting home (from an iffy appointment) to cuddle with my own handsome fella.

My Best Friend Decker-The-Dog

You know, today has been a pretty good day. This week has been a little difficult..  I'm not feeling horrendous, but my sleep has been really sporadic and restless, my intestines have been retaliating against me every day, and overall I'm just not feeling up-to-par... BUT I have had some improved energy levels at random points during the day and I have been able to do a little more stretching this week as well as putting together a new list of daily goals to try and follow.

But no matter what - NO MATTER WHAT - if I have any playtime with my puppy, he immediately uplifts my mood. If all I can do is sit or lie in bed and play with his paws, that's all he needs for his tail to go berserk, and that is all that I need to forget (for a little while) how sick I feel.
With fun and growling and giggling and full-on belly laughs, the fun we have can change my outlook on the day in an instant.

I finally got some pretty decent video of our cherished daily playtime. It may not seem like much, but just a few minutes of this every single day helps me in immeasurable ways.

If you want to see video, check out my Instagram page.